where is the instruction manual?
Let me preface this post with a mini introduction. I’m Jamie from Oh! How Lovely! I’m kind of amazing, have ridiculously pretty hair, watch really bad tv and have the cutest puppy in the world. Make sure you read all the other posts today by all of these fabulous ladies and don’t forget to subscribe!
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When I was growing up, I really thought that at 24 years old I would have it all. Steady job, fancy apartment in the city, loving boyfriend, having the most amazing dinner parties with my amazing social circle, drinking wine (because wine is fancy when you are growing up, duh) and most importantly - be long past being out of school.
But here I am.
Let’s just say I have an awesome boyfriend and uh, there is lots of wine.
Needless to say, I wasn’t one of those kids who had it all figured out the second they graduated from high school. I didn’t graduate college in four years and jump into the “real world” ready to kick it’s ass. I’m still in school after taking a couple years off. I’ve changed my major more times than Brad and Angie have kids.
Sometimes I really regret not doing it the “normal” way but then I realized that I’m much happier doing things my way. Yeah, I’m still living at home with my parents and working as a part-time nanny while going to school while most of my friends have CAREERS but for some people it just doesn’t happen that way. I took me awhile to figure out what I want to do but I didn’t want to pick just anything. “Who cares what it is, just as long as it will make me money when I’m out of school!”
I don’t want to pigeon hole myself into a career that will leave me waking up every day feeling miserable. Yes, I could always go back to school but honestly, I hate school and I don’t want to spend more time there than I really have to. I’m not saying my job has to make me so happy my face hurts from smiling because I’m JUST SO HAPPY TO BE WORKING! So it might take me a little more time than most, but I’m hoping it saves me a little time later on.
What works for some, doesn’t work for others. There isn’t some universal rule book that is slipped under your pillow once you hit twenty that lays everything out for you step by step. They wouldn’t call it the quarter life crisis if was that easy, now would they?
The most important thing I’ve learned so far as a twentysomething?
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
September 8th, 2008 at 7:45 am
[...] first post is up, along with some posts from the other lovely [...]
September 8th, 2008 at 8:05 am
I’m so with you here. I went to school, took some time off, and I STILL don’t know what I want to do with my life. I just think I’ll figure it all out when the time is right.
September 8th, 2008 at 9:06 am
i could not agree more. i’m just now learning, ever so slowly, that just because i’m 24 doesn’t mean i have to have everything figured out. i’m getting there, just like you. :o)
September 8th, 2008 at 9:34 am
I think that one of the best things about being a 20something is that you have the chance, largely for the first time to do things your own way, whatever that way is. Good for you for being confident and comfortable in that!
September 8th, 2008 at 10:10 am
At 29, things are getting somewhat clearer. It actually took grad school for me (second year of it) to just BEGIN getting some clarity. It’s rare anyone would have anything figured out at 21 or 22. Besides, some of my 30-year old friends are still trying to figure out what they want to do while coping with whatever they do now.
September 8th, 2008 at 11:05 am
I think it is a funny myth we have that “what you want to do with your life” just switches on like a lightbulb. It takes a lot of hard work to make that decision, in all actuality!
September 8th, 2008 at 11:52 am
It seems so trendy to be a 20something now. Like an emo-wayfaring badge of courage. Let’s all hug each other and be confused about life.
September 8th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I don’t have MOST of what I thought I would have at 28. I thought I would be a best selling author, own at least two properties, have a great guy, maybe possibly have kids by this stage. Instead I’m living in a flatshare, single with a job I don’t particularly like and barely the motivation to get UP in the morning sometimes, let alone try to make any progress on the creative writing course I’m meant to be doing. That being said, I’m still having a great time!
September 8th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
I don’t even know what I want to do, now that I’m 27!
OK, that’s not entirely true, but it wasn’t entirely not true either.. I’ve gotten my Master’s, and I’m thinking about a Ph.D. But seriously..
September 8th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
I didn’t graduate from college until I was 25… which was four majors, three schools, and 7 years since I started as a typical four-year-plan freshman.
I do feel pigeon-holed in my career because I didn’t really choose it! I got promoted from a temporary secretary position, then again and again and I just stayed because I’m reasonably good and I make good money doing it. But I’m stuck. I don’t know what do do with myself, but honey, it ain’t this.
September 9th, 2008 at 12:53 am
Hmm, I think “not feeling like you’ve got it figured out” is something every thinking person goes through no matter what path you choose.
I graduated with a doctorate degree at 23 (yep, I’m the typical Asian overachiever), and at 27 (4 years being at a “professional” job), had a major “what now?!” moment (followed by some sort of career change and more of these moments every few years).
So, anyway, I don’t think anyone really has it “all figured out” no matter what appearance suggests. Just my 2 cents as a not-twenty-something-anymore.
September 9th, 2008 at 2:55 am
Keep the boyfriend but pass the wine please?
I didn’t have a damned clue what i wanted to do when I got out of highschool, I spent those four years thinking about the endless possibilities and never really narrowed it down.
At 21 I still don’t know what career I’m meant to end up in and I’m glad I opted not to attend a college or University until I was certain the degree I’d get would be worthwhile.
I can sort of sympathize with the whole you’re in school while your friends are off having careers. thought it was more< i was living on my own working and my friends were off in Uni getting degrees. For all that I was happy malign money and proving i could take care of myself I felt a lot of guilt for not following the typical pattern of getting a degree and then searching for work.
I’m four years yet from a numerical quarter life crisis but sometimes I feel like I’m already there. On the bright side I know I’m not the only one living through it.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:18 am
It’s taken a few years for me to acknowledge and accept that everyone makes her (or his) own path and that it’s okay that we’re not all headed in the same direction or taking the same trail. Some of us like the scenic route; some like the freeway; and still, some don’t mind off-roading or driving a forklift over volcanoes. And there are those who don’t aren’t so much looking ahead as just meandering along, kicking rocks and crunching on leaves, whistling a tune, enjoying the moment for what it is. That’s where I am now, and I’ve finally found a group of friends who encourage me to do more but are okay with me just wandering. I’ve finally gotten my parents to realize that it’s okay that I walked away from a budding career and now just want to explore my options. It’s the journey, the experiences, the laughs, and the tears we pick up along the way that will carry us through to our thirties… at which time we’ll look back and wonder why we were so stressed about such a great time in our lives.
September 9th, 2008 at 7:57 am
I graduated with a B.A. in 5 years (yes, I had two senior years…) and now I’m taking some time off while trying to figure out what I really want to do. I always think of Reality Bites when discussing this type of thing because really, the only thing you have to be by age 24 is yourself.
September 9th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Wow, its so nice to realize basically everyone feels this way…or should we be scared that we all feel this way? What’s wrong with our society that we often feel pressured to “have it all figured out” and then have to resort to blogs to communicate to the rest us that “hey! don’t worry, none of us have it figured out!”
Great post, right on, just what I was thinking.
September 9th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
As a matter of fact, I don’t have it all figured out and don’t think I will for a while. Thanks for letting me know that’s okay and that I’m not crazy for not following the “right” path and that I’m not the only one!
September 9th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
I am 27 and still don’t have it all figured out. I wake up every day like, “WTF am I going to do with my life?” Granted, I have a great marriage, but as far as what I want to DO?? I haven’t a freaking clue. My friends all just KNEW. What is that all about?! Must be nice. : )
Love the new blog! I’m adding it to my faves!
September 9th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Amen to that! I was one of those people who had it all figured out for the most part. The plan was to go to college straight out of HS, graduate in 4 years and yadda yadda- have it all by 22/23. HA! I took 4.5 years in college, graduated with not a clue what to do, spent 8months not really doing anything- applying to jobs here and there. Now? I have a job at a world reknowned hospital and am I any happier? No. But I have a “career” I and it’s not something I hate. It’s definately a stepping stone for better things in the future. But I agree- you don’t have to have it all figured out. Life is proving it’s better not to have it all figured out, like you said.
But my best thing learned- enjoy every single moment because as you get older you don’t get those moments as often.
September 9th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Just added your new blog to my reader. One of the most important things I learned in my 20s is that my mom and I get along much better when we don’t live under the same roof.
September 11th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
Well that’s a relief!