We have more than a great set of humps in common
I have a friend who is always in a relationship. As soon as one boyfriend has been dumped (or has dumped her), she’s already moved on to someone else. The ex can still be seen walking away and she’s already got on a new dance partner. It’s hard to keep track of all the Jacks, Daniels and Taylors she has dated. It’s impossible to remember where she meets them all. She just does.
If dating is water- she’s a fish. She’s immersed herself in a world that involves steamy text messages, late night picnics, candlelit dinners and weekends away. She thinks nothing of casually dating three men at once, she can move from an early dinner with one to a movie with another on the same night and not feel overwhelmed. I can’t remember the last time I called her when she wasn’t dating someone.
She’s honest and open to all of them. She’s not needy, she’s not looking for someone to ‘complete’ her. She knows who she is and what she wants, and right now she wants to date as many men as possible. She figures the time to really test the dating waters is in her twenties and she doesn’t want to look back and regret having said ‘no date’ to anyone.
And then there’s me. When it comes to dating, I’m truly horrible at it. As I’ve said on my own blog before, it’s because I have two traits in abundance- I’m lazy as hell and I’m picky, neither of which lend themselves to being a dating expert.
Don’t get me wrong, when I DO date, I enjoy it. Even if the date is absolutely dreadful, I enjoy it because I know it will make a good story. My problem lies with the fact that it takes a lot for me to actually GO on the date. I tend to date in bursts- for a few months I will entertain the idea of finding someone and date like mad, and then I get tired/overwhelmed/disappointed and retreat back into my dateless world complete with Sex and the City DVD’s and peanut butter straight from the jar. Because no one every tells you how exhausting dating is. I will stockpile those dates neatly in the recess of my brain and will feed on them while I live in a dateless world. In short, I store up my dates.
Just like a camel stores water.
Camels need water to live but unlike most animals, they can go long periods without it and still survive. I read recently that a camel can go up to ten months without drinking water, as long as they supplement their diet with the right vegetation. Or more importantly, they can go for long periods without water and still thrive. I can relate to that. I can go months without dating someone, but am sustained by the on-going flirtations I have with the men I refuse to date.
Of course I know there is a happy medium, someone in between a fish and a camel (some clever bloggers might argue this could be a human) . And maybe camels can live in the desert without water, but given the choice I suspect all camels would welcome a cool sip of water over chewing on another plant. I’ve felt a bit restless lately. Maybe my days as a camel are numbered. Maybe it’s time to jump back into the dating pool.
When it comes to dating, are you a camel or a fish?
September 18th, 2008 at 12:23 am
[...] in case you want more, I’m over here… talking about why I’m like a camel. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)A [...]
September 18th, 2008 at 12:32 am
I’m, unintentionally, more of the serial monogamist variety. I’m not sure what animal that qualifies me as…
*this is where I sit for 5 minutes and try to come up with something clever, like a platypus, to no avail*
I only actually “dated” in my first year of college. Besides that, I’m either totally single or totally taken. I’m not sure how it got so black and white!
September 18th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Princess Pointful- Playtypus… I like it. And like you, I’m not someone who likes to date a lot of different people. Once I find someone I like, I just want to.. you know, date him. Dear lord. I feel like I’m in junior high with the way I’m expressing myself about this right now. Oy.
September 18th, 2008 at 1:54 am
Are there any animals who would love to be swimming but instead have not even seen the water for many a year?
September 18th, 2008 at 3:02 am
what a good way to think of it! I’m a fish and always seem to be seeing multiple guys BUT for me, the compulsive dating feeds some kind of underlying insecurity. Whatever it is, my dating habits are probably not too healthy.
September 18th, 2008 at 8:34 am
I’m a freaking cactus… during a severe drought. Ugh.
September 18th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Camel. I haven’t dated in what feels like a million years!
September 18th, 2008 at 9:15 am
Erin- An optimistic camel?? lol… I have no idea. I’m thinking my animal analogy is falling apart at the seams!
Mallory- Well, at least you know you’re not alone… my friend is definitely a fish too!
Shelly- I know how that is!
Sara Jane- We are the same person.
Well, I’ve gone on a few dates lately but nothing that’s been a GOOD date.
September 18th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Before I got married, I was def. a camel. Before I met my wife it had been six months since I’d dated. I was enjoying being single, going out with friends and not being responsible to anyone else.
September 18th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Before I met my fiancee, I was some where in between a camel and a sloth. I could survive periods of draught, but most of the time I was just slacking.
September 18th, 2008 at 10:52 am
i’m definetly a camel. the last time i went on a date was four years ago, yes i said FOUR.
does it get any sadder than that?
September 18th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Sadly, before I was married, I was the fish. I always had one “on the back burner” as my best friend always said. It wasn’t a healthy way to find a good relationship and there were a lot of hurt feelings involved. But I learned a lot from it.
September 18th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
im such a CAMEL it is sickening
September 18th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I’m definitely a camel - I would way rather stay to myself than put energy into a bunch of different people at the same time, I could be spending that time with my friends!
September 18th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Brandy I sooo think we may be the same person, i have a friend like your friend and I am completely the opposite. BUT i would prefer to be like her in a way i think . . .
September 18th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
i think if given the two options, im a camel. actually, im probably more of a sick fish. i like to date, i usually have SOMEone in the mix that i can talk about, but it’s hardly ever anything serious. im a lazy, frustrated, sick of it all fish right now.
oh, and i dont like grasshoppers. but that’s another story.
September 18th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
camel through and through. dating is exhausting and for the most part, unrewarding to me. i just want mr right to fall in my lap and in love with me and me with him magically. thats not too much to ask, right?
September 19th, 2008 at 12:27 am
I’m definitely more camel, although possibly some other animal that doesn’t drink water ever?? I have my friends and they’re pretty good at keeping me nourished for now
September 19th, 2008 at 12:49 am
I think I’m a camel…although not quote by choice! Hehe. You know the expression, “when it rains, it pours.” I think dating is SO much work and I like it so much better when a relationship starts up naturall, however serious or casual it might be.
In other words, I want the perfect guy to fall into my lap. That’s reallistic…right…?
September 19th, 2008 at 7:19 am
I’m a camel. I also realized not many people will openly admit that they’re a fish.
But I’m a lot like you, Brandy. I’m lazy and I’m hell picky. I was trying to find that line that separates pickiness from knowing what you want. Because as how I see it, I think I’m single because I know what I want, but I guess there is that serious fine line. Everyone else has thrown various objects at me while yelling about how picky I am. meh.
Good post.
September 19th, 2008 at 10:07 am
[...] boo’ed me for this post, so you know I’ve said something wrong…) 2. I’m here talking about why I’m like a [...]
September 19th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I really enjoy this post. I am most certainly a fish and always have been. I’m not sure how I came to be like this (or that, since I’m now attached). But part of it has to do with being too scared of being too close too soon. I have a very successful first month of dating and then drop it like it’s hot. Sometimes I do wonder how I balanced it all - the texts, the calls, the dates, the names!
Gosh, I kind of miss those fish days.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Great post, Brandy! I have a friend who used to be a fish and it always fascinated me. I don’t know how those gals don’t get exhausted! Because you’re right - sometimes SATC DVDs and peanut butter are waaaay more appealing!
September 19th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Great post! I’m glad ours went hand-in-hand!
I am in that happy medium area I think. I date often, but I’m not a serial dater… ya know?
September 19th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
camel. no doubt.
September 22nd, 2008 at 12:10 pm
fish, fo sho.
or, i should say ‘was a fish’ or, ‘would be a fish again’ if my current relationship was to not work out.
i love the dates. the different people. it’s so fun, and as long as you’re always honest, you score a lot of friends-after-dating out of the deal.
September 22nd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
hahaha, this made me laugh cuz i have a friend who says she’s a sex camel….yup, she has a little, then goes long periods without it!
you’re def not alone girly!
September 27th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
I like this site! I’m a camel these days. I use to be a serial monagamist but now, in my wise old age, I’m so freakin’ picky that it’s been 8 months since I’ve been on a date where I’ve actually wanted to kiss the guy! So, not too many 2nd dates for me lately. It’s so dejecting.