Location Anxiety
In exactly one week from today, my car will be packed to the brim with all of my possessions and I will drive away from the place I’ve called home for the past ten months. This will be the second time in a year that I have made the journey across the country, leaving behind friends and family, driving towards a new unknown.
A very good friend once told me that I have “location anxiety.” It truly is difficult for me to stay in one place for too long. I get anxious. I start wondering what I am missing by being here and not there. Who I’m not meeting. What I’m not seeing. And then I pack up my stuff and move. Never really knowing exactly what it is I’m searching for.
But maybe this time will be different. Maybe I won’t feel anxious after being in Chicago for six months. Or twelve months. Or two years. Maybe I will just be content. Maybe I will finally find what I’m looking for. I really hope so.
As exciting as it is to live in so many different places, and to start over… and over and over, it can be very lonely. It becomes so easy to lose touch with friends, never allowing yourself to get too attached to new people, knowing you will eventually leave them too.
So here I sit, not knowing what will happen in the coming months. I’m scared and excited and nervous. I wish I could see a glimpse into the future and know that I am making the right decision, but I guess that would be cheating. So I will just have to wait and see, live my life, and trust my gut.
This time will be different.
Goodbye California, Hello Chicago. I’m ready…
October 8th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I hear ya on this. I wrote about the opposite on my own site — I stayed in one place and watched my girl friends leave. We now all miss each other and are trying to navigate our new worlds alone.
I believe in the quarter life crisis…
October 8th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Enjoy the adventure!
October 8th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I guess that’s why you’re a blogger, so you can at least keep SOME of your friends constantly no matter where you go.
October 8th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
yay for chicago. this place is incredible
October 8th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
oh my gosh, this story is exactly mine. including the city i’ll be relocating to in 3 short months!! no kidding, i moved to dallas about 21 months ago and am already itching to leave. so i am. and am heading to chicago.
anyway, good luck with the move. i hope you find what you’re looking for! chicago is awesome so i know you’ll enjoy yourself!!
October 8th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
This post definitely resonates with me! I lived in 2 different cities in the year after college, and I’ve been in my current city (Louisville, KY) for almost 3 years now…only because I would rather die than tell my mother I dropped out of law school. So I’m finishing up my last year here (thank GOD) and looking for jobs…everywhere. I feel paralyzed by the options and the fear of picking the wrong one–what if I should have gone for Boston instead of D.C., etc. Not to mention, most of my friends are Louisville born-and-bred and won’t be leaving….but I know I can’t stay here. I can’t imagine myself “settling down” anywhere…
Good luck to you on your journey! It’s comforting to know that someone else understands the feeling of needing to pick up and leave, but also the isolation that comes with it. Best wishes!
October 8th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
I’m really proud of you. I know it must be hard but like you said, this time will be different and I really hope it is for you. Good luck! I can’t wait to see pictures of Chicago when you move back!
October 8th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
I utterly adore Chicago.
I think that moving is one of the best character building experiences you can have in your 20s. It makes you reconsider most everything you take for granted, and you have so many new experiences when you are out of your comfort zone.
Best of luck!!
October 8th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I might be making a similar move in a few weeks but away from Chicago. It’s scary and exciting, Good luck and I hope you enjoy Chicago!
October 8th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Thank you all for your support! You guys are really great. But I’m sure you already know that. =)
October 8th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Story of my life!
I moved out of my parents home and across the country to university. From there I moved overseas to New Zealand for a year, then to Australia for 3 months, then back to Vancouver for 2 years and now I’m back in Melbourne again for another 2 years, already thinking of where I want to go next. London maybe?
I’ve got a terrible case of wanderlust, which makes keeping close friends hard. But at least I have friends all over the world to visit!!
October 10th, 2008 at 1:43 am
I definitely suffer from location anxiety as well. I have for as long as I can remember. I was itching to be somewhere else by the time I hit my teens.
Now, I’m in Arizona, waiting impatiently for a move to North Carolina (in March) that will last about five months, until I either get into grad school or find a new job somewhere in New England.
Enjoy Chicago! It’s on my list of places to live for at least a little while… maybe I’ll see you there someday!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
I came across this blog by chance (my blog is also about my own quarterlife crisis). I also just moved. After being in St. Louis for 7 years, I got up and dropped myself in Austin on a whim a month ago, so I get it! It’s really hard and thrilling and scary and exciting. Good luck to you! I have tons of friends in Chicago if you ever need people to hang with. =)
October 27th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
As exciting as it is to live in so many different places, and to start over… and over and over, it can be very lonely. It becomes so easy to lose touch with friends, never allowing yourself to get too attached to new people, knowing you will eventually leave them too.
You perfectly articulated what several years of my life were like. And somehow, it seems like I’ve never fully recovered. I mean, while I was off to fun places every few months, my college classmates were building strong friendships and relationships. They are married or paired off otherwise, and I’m still alone.
No matter how much I loved the moving and the meeting new people, every once in awhile I’m forced to question whether ot not it was worth it.