Comments on: The dilemma of names

By: Dickies

Dickies — Wed, 27 May 2009 22:07:35 +0000

I know it can be time-consuming to update your blog but thank you for keeping me informed and entertained!

By: Kyla Bea

Kyla Bea — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 18:48:37 +0000

I just got married, and for me it was a no-brainer to change my name to the same as Mister’s. I love the kid, his last name is snazzy, I’m early enough along in my professional life that it wouldn’t be a big deal, and my last name holds a lot of family baggage for me.

It’s definitely an issue for same-sex marriages – any issues facing straight married couples are faced by same sex couples and then some. Many of my close friends are GLBT and when one of my friends and her partner were married, they did one of the coolest things ever – they looked back in their family histories and found a name that had history that they both liked and took that!

Coolest thing ever! I totally wanted to do that, but my family was right off the boat from the Ukraine and the last names are beautiful but have WAY too many consonants. And Mister’s family are Americans since there were Americans, so his last name is as cool as it gets.

By: Just Jinny

Just Jinny — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 04:00:08 +0000

I’m not for or against keeping your last name, taking his last name, or any combination of the two. I think it is entirely up to the couple as to what is going to work best for them.

Personally, the last name thing was not something that I even took a second to think about. It was a very natural progression of things to take his last name. I didn’t struggle with that choice. I wanted to take his last name. And, I lost nothing of myself in doing so. Actually, I’m even more memorable now then before since my last name is fairly unusual.

I had no real attachment to my Father’s last name, anyway. Now, my Mom’s maiden name DOES mean something to me..but that was not my maiden name..so it was an easy choice to make.

By: The Imaginary Reviewer

The Imaginary Reviewer — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:15:44 +0000

I’m getting married next year. My fiance is currently undecided, I think, between keeping her own surname and hyphenating both of ours. To be honest, I wouldn’t like to lose my own surname, so I have no ill feelings about her decision. I know part of her decision comes from the fact that it seems unlikely that her brother will ever get married (sadly), so she would like to make sure that her family surname doesn’t end with her generation. I think this is a marvelous thing.

By: terra

terra — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 11:07:49 +0000

I got married last January and kept my name. It’s unique and so very me and if I didn’t have it, I would feel like I was losing a big part of myself. My husband wasn’t too thrilled with the idea, but he got over. Also, I don’t want to completely lose my identity and end up as a side note on a wedding invitation as only “Mrs.”

By: Belle

Belle — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 01:19:05 +0000

I took my husband’s last name, about 6 months after we were married. My maiden name is a tough one, so it’s kind of nice to have a simple name. And, people assumed that I had the same name since we were married - especially when we were buying a house, no one could remember I went by MY name and kept putting it on the offer papers incorrectly. My “official” papers now have first middle maiden married.

By: Larissa

Larissa — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 22:23:48 +0000

I kept my middle name, but changed my last name to take my husband’s. I think women who staunchly keep their name are cool. But for me personally, I was honored and excited to be affiliated to my husband. And I figured that my individuality as a woman can come from more than simply my last name.

I have a few couple friends who hyphenated both last names into a combo name. I think that’s a neat way to go too. But to each her own!

By: Just Me

Just Me — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:26:45 +0000

I will not change my last name. It is my **name** and for me that had always represented a lot. If my husband cares more about us having the same name than his own, he can change his. My sister changed her last name and while she loves her husband, she regrets it. I have several friends who made a new last name for themselves after the I-do’s.

By: well-intentioned heartbreaker

well-intentioned heartbreaker — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 18:17:11 +0000

i’ll hold down the same-sex fort in this issue.

i know a few people who have married their significant, same-sex other, and about 75% of them don’t change their last name. i suppose this has to do with the fact that clearly same-sex marriage isn’t exactly.. conservative, so why be all conservative with the changing of the last name?

as for me, i love my girlfriend’s last name WAY more than my own, but i’m not sure what i’ll do when it comes time to make the big decision.. i may be a brand of syrup forever..

By: Meredith

Meredith — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 17:24:55 +0000

I was married August 30 of this year and chose to take my husband’s name. It’s a really stinkin’ good name. I couldn’t refuse. But, it’s important to note that it is his stepfather’s name. He changed his last name on his 18th birthday to honor his stepfather, since for all intents and purposes, he was the father figure in my husband’s life. Had he not changed his name on his 18th birthday to this wonderful name he shared with me, I don’t know that I would have changed. His old name was much less desirable. So, I guess you can say aesthetics played a big role in my decision.