Comments on: The cult of the couple http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/ Overcoming the Quarter-life Crisis Fri, 18 May 2012 11:13:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Jo http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/#comment-650 Jo Thu, 30 Oct 2008 11:25:29 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=201#comment-650 I am very happily single, I am also minus the gene that demands I become a mother. I think the latter makes me feel less bothered about being married now. I sometimes find myself feeling defensive about being single, like I must be hiding some inner desire and don't want to admit it, but deep down I'm content - why is that harder to admit in public, especially to couples, who can't possibly believe it? Life is much simpler when there's only you to manage (sounds selfish I know). I do wonder if the longer I remain single the harder it would ever be to integrate someone else into my life (I'm 33 now). Having said that I have an awesome family and loads of friends so life feels rich with relationships already. I'll stay out of the couple cult for as long as I can :) I am very happily single, I am also minus the gene that demands I become a mother. I think the latter makes me feel less bothered about being married now.

I sometimes find myself feeling defensive about being single, like I must be hiding some inner desire and don’t want to admit it, but deep down I’m content - why is that harder to admit in public, especially to couples, who can’t possibly believe it?

Life is much simpler when there’s only you to manage (sounds selfish I know). I do wonder if the longer I remain single the harder it would ever be to integrate someone else into my life (I’m 33 now). Having said that I have an awesome family and loads of friends so life feels rich with relationships already.

I’ll stay out of the couple cult for as long as I can :)

]]> By: Yoda http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/#comment-600 Yoda Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:46:55 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=201#comment-600 From a guy's point of view. Not being in a relationship automatically classifies you as a loser who's unable to attract women, or as a philanderer who's nut deep in random pussy. There is no middle ground. From a guy’s point of view.

Not being in a relationship automatically classifies you as a loser who’s unable to attract women, or as a philanderer who’s nut deep in random pussy. There is no middle ground.

]]> By: Maria http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/#comment-582 Maria Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:21:10 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=201#comment-582 I have been wondering the same thing lately. I know a lot of people who feel like they are worthless if they don't find a partner. I have friends who I have never known to be single and who have done ridiculous things to maintain a volatile relationship. I think sometimes it's easy to get caught up in your biggest fears and we are our worst critics so naturally the first person to suffer is yourself. These are the times when I like to go to my happy place (usually somewhere outside with my ipod) so I can get away for a while and remind myself I'm happy by myself, I can survive successfully on my own and it's never as bad as it seems. You need to be happy with yourself and your life before anything else can function properly. I have been wondering the same thing lately. I know a lot of people who feel like they are worthless if they don’t find a partner. I have friends who I have never known to be single and who have done ridiculous things to maintain a volatile relationship. I think sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in your biggest fears and we are our worst critics so naturally the first person to suffer is yourself. These are the times when I like to go to my happy place (usually somewhere outside with my ipod) so I can get away for a while and remind myself I’m happy by myself, I can survive successfully on my own and it’s never as bad as it seems. You need to be happy with yourself and your life before anything else can function properly.

]]> By: Jessica http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/#comment-578 Jessica Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:54:48 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=201#comment-578 SO TRUE. For some reason though, I still feel like i NEED to get married someday...even though in other countries, it's totally acceptable not to be. Strange.. SO TRUE. For some reason though, I still feel like i NEED to get married someday…even though in other countries, it’s totally acceptable not to be.

Strange..

]]> By: Sara Jane http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/#comment-576 Sara Jane Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:10:56 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=201#comment-576 I'm with you on this...it's taken be almost 3 years of being single to get comfortable in it. I think I'm almost there. PS-I heart your blog, so I had to pass the love today over on mine! I’m with you on this…it’s taken be almost 3 years of being single to get comfortable in it. I think I’m almost there.

PS-I heart your blog, so I had to pass the love today over on mine!

]]> By: meri http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/#comment-575 meri Tue, 21 Oct 2008 05:03:49 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=201#comment-575 Ugh. I know the pain of the motherhood mandate. I'm not planning on having children (and have thought so for a few years) and if this ever comes up in conversation many people are somewhat put off by my decision. If my mom mentions it to her friends they inevitably say "oh she'll change her mind once she's settled". I say boo to them! yeah I may change my mind, but don't assume I will just because I have ovaries. I imagine it wouldn't be the same prediction if I were a dude. I'm married, but I agree wholeheartedly with the post. It was my/our choice, but I can dig that it's not everyone's choice (and/or inevitability). Ugh. I know the pain of the motherhood mandate. I’m not planning on having children (and have thought so for a few years) and if this ever comes up in conversation many people are somewhat put off by my decision. If my mom mentions it to her friends they inevitably say “oh she’ll change her mind once she’s settled”. I say boo to them! yeah I may change my mind, but don’t assume I will just because I have ovaries. I imagine it wouldn’t be the same prediction if I were a dude.

I’m married, but I agree wholeheartedly with the post. It was my/our choice, but I can dig that it’s not everyone’s choice (and/or inevitability).

]]> By: Sarah http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/#comment-574 Sarah Tue, 21 Oct 2008 04:21:33 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=201#comment-574 all that marriage and kids stuff pisses me off. i might, i might not, but i'm not even close to making that decision and that's just fine with me! i'm very happy being single right now. all that marriage and kids stuff pisses me off. i might, i might not, but i’m not even close to making that decision and that’s just fine with me!

i’m very happy being single right now.

]]> By: angela http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/#comment-573 angela Tue, 21 Oct 2008 01:08:10 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=201#comment-573 well said. excellent well said. excellent

]]> By: distracted spunk http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/#comment-572 distracted spunk Mon, 20 Oct 2008 22:52:53 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=201#comment-572 Ha. I've been thinking about that a lot today and decided I far prefer being by myself than being in a complicated relationship with anyone. Especially if it comes down to being treated right. Ha. I’ve been thinking about that a lot today and decided I far prefer being by myself than being in a complicated relationship with anyone. Especially if it comes down to being treated right.

]]> By: L.C.T. http://ummnowwhat.com/2008/10/20/the-cult-of-the-couple/#comment-571 L.C.T. Mon, 20 Oct 2008 21:53:02 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=201#comment-571 Really really like this post, makes a lot of sense and I love the final sentence. Great thought. Really really like this post, makes a lot of sense and I love the final sentence. Great thought.

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