Don’t hate her because she’s beautiful
“Have you met the new girl they just hired?” she asks.
I shake my head.
“Apparently she’s some ridiculous supermodel or something, and a bunch of your co-workers are freaking out it.”
I turn to her boyfriend, my co-worker. “What’s the story?”
I know we are hiring new people, and they had been conducting a number of interviews over the past week. Apparently, one woman they hired was so stunning she turned what I had assumed were respectful male co-workers into drooling idiots. One of the nurses came into my co-worker’s office, saying “I don’t know what she’s interviewing for, but we have to hire her.” Our office manager, who I always thought as a cheery family man, pops his head into the room after the interview, stating what is apparently the obvious at this point of time- “Man, she’s gorgeous.”
I find myself tensing up as I hear this story unfold, a slew of thoughts flying through my head.
“We had over forty applicants for that position. They couldn’t have just hired her because she was hot, could they?”
“I can’t believe my co-workers fall to Neanderthal level when I’m not around.”
And, perhaps the more embarrassing thought- “I don’t want to be the ugly one.”
***
This week, as I am prepping a file, she walks into the door. She smiles and introduces herself. She looks like Elisha Cuthbert. She is also sweet, and, contrary to stereotypes, qualified, just finishing off her Masters degree. I still keep on coming back to Elisha Cuthbert.
She walks behind me as I show her around the office, and I keep on thinking about how tall she is. I don’t feel petite around her, like I usually do. I feel stubby. My brown hair and dark complexion no longer feel exotic, but rather plain in contrast.
And I feel guilty for my mind cycling back, over and over again, to the simple fact that she is pretty. I don’t know how I’ve regressed from a competent professional to a jealous teenager. This is not like me. I’m not the competitive type. She is not out to steal my boyfriend.
The only logical answer I can come up with is that it all comes down to expectations. Although I certainly would have noticed that she was attractive without prior notice, there has already been so much emphasis placed on her appearance by those around me, it is hard not to focus on it. After all, it is the only fact deemed worthy to tell me about her, which strikes me as both unfair and unfortunately telling.
October 27th, 2008 at 8:17 am
Man, this is so true. The resentment comes not so much from how attractive another person is, but more from the fact that everyone ELSE thinks she is attractive and are forcing that fact down your throat!
October 27th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I would like to work where you work. Are you guys still hiring?
October 27th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
ahh that’s too bad. people do this all the time and my answer is always ‘tell me something about her that doesn’t have to do with her appearance.”
October 28th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
…… you know, I’d really love to be her….
October 29th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
That’s too bad – especially because if she’s cute and Elisha Cluthberty, and has just finished her masters, she sounds like she could be really cool!
It’s funny how girls are to each other – if we perceive someone to be less attractive than us we are nice to them because they’re not a threat or we pity them, and if we perceive someone to be more attractive than us we’re suspicious and don’t try to make friends. It’s hard, some of the girls that I know who are the prettiest are also depressed and terribly unhappy – and because they’re perceived to not need friendship they have almost no one to go to.
It’s not revolutionary, but I wish getting to know people was part of the reaction when we met people. I’m glad that you showed her around and were nice - it can be a little tough, but it’s about you as much as it is about her = )