(This was submitted to me from a wonderful writer who wishes to remain anonymous. This post is one that I think many twentysomethings can relate to. Enjoy!)

It has been just a little over five years now since I moved into that first apartment that was All. Mine.  Trash, and the responsibility for taking it out: all mine. Food, and responsibility for making sure I bought it, all mine. Rent and bills: all mine.

But privacy, temperature control, furniture arrangements, TV remote and ultimately, the right to do exactly what I damn well pleased were well worth all the unshared expenses. That first new apartment played host to some of my favorite parties and many a weekend visitor, and I have never since considered having a roommate with any degree of sincerity.

It bears mentioning that when I left the world of co-habitation behind, I had been living with a boyfriend of almost three years.  In retrospect, things were already quite shaky between us before we moved in together in a new city during a new phase in both our lives, and I was mentally ready to move on. The catalyst of living together pushed me out of the relationship and out on my own after only two months of sharing an apartment - a two-bedroom apartment, even.

So here I am, five years later: self-actualized, single, fearless, responsible and autonomous. Only wait - single?  Not so much.  I’m attached, he’s awesome, and this is no passing fling.  This, I believe, is the real deal. Truly, I am ecstatic about it (though my fearless, autonomous side keeps me from admitting it freely), and I love the idea of taking The Next Step, until concrete discussions about The Next Step being Moving In Together began to take place.

I swear, I live a simple life and as much as I’ve moved around over the past several years, I don’t place a lot of importance in collecting material possessions. Yet while my first thought after the initial Moving In Together discussion was, that will be wonderful!, my second thought was, what about my stuff? The further I pondered this question, the nuttier I felt, to the point where I actually hand-wrote a list of all of my furniture and appliances, then coded each item Keep, Sell or Donate.

That didn’t make me feel any less nutty, as the move is not imminent, and by that I mean that it is at least six months away.  I suppose I felt that a list or chart or spreadsheet of some sort might also control the success of the proposed living arrangement with step-by-step instructions as to how two independent people who like their alone time can share a household and belongings.

Really what it comes down to is this: the boy and I are going to be great.  But living with someone is going to be a huge adjustment no matter who the new roommate is or how well you know them, and, I think, especially so if you’re like me and have lived alone for most of your adult life. As much as I try to keep my freakouts internalized, I’d love to have some guidance that would help me do away with them altogether and remember that this is a very natural, everyday progression, that I’ll still have all the independence and autonomy I need - minus the hefty rent.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 27th, 2008 at 2:21 am and is filed under from the desk of brandy, guest post!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.