A Reader’s Question for YOU
Today we have a reader’s question from Haley Fay. She emailed this to me earlier this morning and wants to hear how other twentysomething ladies would answer. Leave your response in the comments.
“If there’s one thing about my future I’m sure about, it’s that I want to be a mom someday. But recently, an unrealistic and totally distressing question popped into my head:
If your only options about having children were to have a baby now, or never have a baby at all, ever, which would you choose? (adoption isn’t an option, either.)
I still don’t know which I would pick.
Do you?”
December 12th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
I’d have a baby now, even though I don’t want any for at least five more years. I’d make a great mother and, though things aren’t exactly stable in terms of finances at the moment, it would be doable. It’s something that doesn’t terrify me anymore.
December 12th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
At this stage, I would say not at all. I think I am too selfish right now to bring a baby into the world and could not support it financially. So if that is the option, I would give up the option.
December 12th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
ah fuck, that’s hard.
i couldn’t, for sure, do baby now, so i’d guess i’d have to say baby never, and hope my brother has wicked cool kids and i can be the best aunt ever.
that’s a sad question.
December 12th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I’d go with baby now - as silly as that sounds with me being in the middle of a uni degree. I have PCOS so it’s sort of a more valid topic that I’ve had to do a lot of thinking about; I don’t really have the option of waiting until my midthirties to have kids. I really really really want to be a mum so if the option was that I could never adopt, I’d have to go with having a kid now, even if it made me a single mum living off the benefit. Good thought-provoking question!
December 12th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
I would choose to have a baby now than none at all. Lots of people say they want to wait until they are more financially ready to have kids, but I think that you’ll never be fully “ready” and you are going to just have to take the plunge at some point. Sure, it will be hard. But in my opinion, the hardest things in life are often the most rewarding.
December 12th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I would have a baby now.. I know I want to be a mom enough that even if I had to take that leap before I felt “ready” (ie- now) than I would do it
December 12th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
I pick now.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Can I give it away if I don’t like it?
JUST KIDDING.
But I’d totally pick to never have one. I’m already leaning that way.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Right now, without a doubt.
I’m 21, finishing college in May and planning on getting an MBA immediately after. I’ve always been super goal-oriented. But really? If I was ridiculously rich, I’d skip ever having a job to have kids… In May.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
i would have it now, no question! i already want a baby so bad, althought obviously i want to wait for about 5 years. i love babies…
December 13th, 2008 at 12:46 am
Without tempting fate, now.
It wouldn’t be easy, but we could definitely do it, and I wouldn’t want to miss that chance. But don’t tell my husband!! lol
December 13th, 2008 at 3:32 am
I’m not ready for a baby at this point in my life, so it wouldn’t be fair to myself or to the child to bring it into the world if I can’t properly care for it.
I guess I’d just end up with a lot of cats in this scenario.
December 13th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Now. I’m 27, I’m not a kid any more. I sometimes wish I could have one now anyway, I always wanted to be a young mum (most likely because my own mother is awesome and had me fairly young). I would find a way to make it work.
December 13th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Now or never? I want one badly enough that now is the only way I can answer that question.
December 13th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Now.
Sure, it isn’t perfect, and I would rather wait until I’m married, a home owner, and am finished my PhD– but, is it ever really the perfect time? And don’t people make it work with far worse situations than I am in now?
Still, I want my birth control pills to not fail this month, mmm’kay??
December 13th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
right now, no doubt about it.
December 13th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Now. Even though I don’t want one right NOW, I do want one.
December 14th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Now. Without a doubt.
Like Scribbles, I have PCOS, and so this is a pretty real question for me. Although in a perfect world, me and mr button would wait a few more years, buy a house, be more financially stable, we’re planning to start trying straight after the wedding. And I can’t wait…
December 15th, 2008 at 12:22 am
I’d go with never. I’m not even sure I want one at all, but I know for SURE I would do not want one now. No way.
December 16th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
now. no thought required on that one… even though my situation is so screwed up… i know i’d be just fine.