The brandys
It’s awards season. The People’s Choice, the Golden Globes, the 20sb awards (vote UNW? for best group blog!) and it got me thinking.
About all of you people who deserve awards, who deserve recognition, who deserve 30 seconds to thank every single person in you’ve ever met in your entire life before getting cut off by a band trying to stick to a tightly held schedule. And I decided to do something about it. (Actually, I first tried to get Matt give out awards called ‘the matts’, but he wouldn’t, so I’m going to. Because I’m cooler and like you guys more than he does).
Winning a brandy (is it egotistical to name the award after yourself? If it is, I’m filing it under the label of ‘THINGS I DON’T CARE ABOUT’- in the same way some of view naysayers may view ‘the brandy’ award) doesn’t result in you getting a car or a statue or even an offer to star in a Coke commercial. It’s about something intangible, something every person aches for- it’s about the prestige. It’s about how, with this award you have something to finally be proud of. Something to add to the resume, something to tell that cute guy on the first date, something to tell your parents when you call them collect and they demand to know what you are doing with your life. You are welcome.
Here are the winners…
1. Blogger who leaves comments so witty that if I wasn’t already the DJ to her Stephanie, there’s a good chance my raging jealousy of her brain would prevent any sort of meaningful friendship: A blog of her Own
2. Blogger who I suddenly feel strangely inadequate around after reading his brilliant novella (which I will be reviewing, once I figure out how to write about it in ways that don’t abuse exclamation marks and capitals ie: “IT’S SO AWESOME!!! READ IT TODAY!!! BUY COPIES FOR EVERYONE!! YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!”) and realizing that he is pure genius: Peter DeWolf
3. Blogger who is worth her weight in cashmere sweaters for introducing me to Owen Schmitt (well, she never really introduced me in person, it was more like she told me that my life was void of meaning until I hopped on board and realized how freaking cool this guy is): You’re Out of Your Element, Bethie
4. Blogger who doesn’t deserve another award because he’s the king of nominations (and will soon be the king of 20sb awards), but who deserves to be recognized for always making me laugh in emails especially when he discusses the disappointment of underwritten teenage vampire sex scenes: No Ordinary Rollercoaster
5. Blogger who still is friends with me despite the fact that there’s a greater chance of Oprah posing for Playboy than there ever is of me knowing where my phone is when she calls: Skrinkering Hearts
6. Blogger who best expresses his sentiments through poem in comments: Tuesday’s With Evans (Check out #34 here or the end of this post to see his brain at work)
7. Individual whose tweets are funnier than most people’s blogs (including my own): Emily Elisabeth
8. Blogger who has a feature so great it’s the only reason I get out of bed on Wednesdays: I hate so much….
9. Blogger most likely to take over the internet while wearing a cowl: Oh! How Lovely!
10. Blogger who skimmed this whole post looking for his award and who will email to complain about it if I give him any award based on his love of Mandy Moore, feathers attached to shirts and/or being labeled an internet whore, so instead I have to give him the award for most likely to cry at Marley & Me most entertaining arch-enemy (during football season) and most delightful BFF when both of our teams got their asses kicked. And most likely to be described as ‘debonair’ (he may have thought of that one on his own): Mr.5280
Now. I know what’s happening. Maybe I listed you and maybe I didn’t. If I listed you, you are probably trying to figure out what sort of fruit basket to send me and if I didn’t, you are thinking of ways to lure me into a dark alley so I can meet your shank. I understand. But please note, I didn’t stop because I ran out of awards (when the award is invisible, how does one run out of it?), I stopped because I thought I should save some winners for my next awards event. Because yes, making up random categories and bestowing them on people who will most likely NOT be reading this was so much fun I’m going to have to do it again soon.
In the meantime, is there any made up awards you would like to give to anyone?


January 15th, 2009 at 12:28 am
Maxie’s Would You Rather is the best part about my Wednesday!
January 15th, 2009 at 12:33 am
mandy- Dude. I know! Between Maxie’s feature and the ability to say ‘happy hump day’ just to be obnoxious, Wednesdays rate high on my favourite day of the week.
January 15th, 2009 at 12:57 am
[...] here. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Happy Birthday, Hannah!This Is the Day the Lord [...]
January 15th, 2009 at 2:46 am
[...] been awarded the most prestigious award in the world. Ladies and gentlemen, I have received a Brandy. And I didn’t even pay her! My life is complete. I heart you [...]
January 15th, 2009 at 2:56 am
Um. So. Now I feel pressured to leave a stellar comment. Since, you know, I got a Brandy for my awesome commenting abilities. What a pickle. Thanks lady!
January 15th, 2009 at 3:33 am
Aww, thank you Brandy! I love reading your incredibly awesome blog, so I am honored.
January 15th, 2009 at 3:35 am
On first read I thought you said “lure me into a dark alley so I can meet your SKANK…”
To which I thought, “yeah, give her an STD, that’ll teach her,” haha!
January 15th, 2009 at 8:43 am
I am blushing and grinning! Thank you so much Brandy for My First Award!! In thanks I will send you a case of Magic Hat #9. And O.S.’s address as soon as I find it out. And I hope he googles himself and winds up here!
January 15th, 2009 at 9:35 am
I would like to thank all the people who have made this possible….
The Denver Broncos, Mandy Moore and of course Brandy.
I dont think the Marley & Me comment was necessary. I mean, I think I told you I’d try to cry at the movie but only because you told me anyone who doesn’t cry at that movie doesn’t have a soul. I don’t want people going around thinking I don’t have a soul.
But I didn’t cry at Old Yeller. Or Homeless Bound. So maybe, I dont have a soul?
January 15th, 2009 at 10:48 am
You are fantastic.
Beth is right– Owen Schmitt is fantastic. WVU alum of course
I’d like to give awards to everyone who comments on my blog because they cheer me up when I’m having a bad day!
January 15th, 2009 at 10:50 am
cool site!
January 15th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Awwww. Thanks so much, lady!
January 15th, 2009 at 11:29 am
I love your awards! Even if you don’t know me from Adam’s house cat. ^__^
And I think Matt’s award should be revoked because he typed HOMELESS Bound. Just a thought.
January 15th, 2009 at 11:38 am
oh come on. I meant homeward bound.
I was just thinking about the homeless people. Like always. Because I am thoughtful like that.
January 15th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
woo, i won a brandy!
oprah in playboy? really? you had to go there with that?
January 15th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
this made me laugh!
January 15th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Hahah. Post of the DAY.
Mmm, actually, day doesn’t seem like enough. Post of the later half of the WEEK.
January 15th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
I don’t think it’s egotistical to name the awards after yourself. If Oscar can do it, so can you!
January 15th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
OMG!
What frickin outfit should I wear? I need some EM help to pull together a fashion Friday! I hope my AXE hair products pull me together! Perhaps an eye patch, some funky lederhosen, strong american accent and wavy hair and I’ll go as Tom Cruise (in Legends- that was da bomb)!
I especially would like to thank Dr Seuss for helping me hit my stride, and Matthew Wilder for not breaking it!
January 15th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Oprah in Playboy….guess that edition will be printed on Rolling Stone size paper!
January 15th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
I wish this were the first time I won an award for discussing vampire sex…
January 16th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
The Golden Brussel Sprout to Deutlich. Just because I think she needs and deserves it!
March 3rd, 2012 at 10:46 am
juegos para consolas…
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