when being a best friend sucks
I have such a big fucking mouth sometimes.
I wish I could learn how to shut up. Especially when I am drunk.
I’ll explain, my best friend is somewhat of a late bloomer. Have you ever seen that movie Failure To Launch? With that ugly chick Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey? I should probably get my man card revoked for referencing this movie in a post but… the movie describes my best friend to a T. Also, why is that a popular expression, describing something to a T? It doesn’t make much sense to me. Never has really? It implies that T’s are described really well… but I’m not so sure they are described better than any other letter in the alphabet.
Anyway, I’m rambling. So he’s had one of those nasty-life-changing-for-the-worse experiences with a girl. It’s been eight years now and he still won’t trust anybody except me and a few other friends whom have been there since the beginning. He also won’t move out of his parents house.
He’s got a great job as a respiratory therapist and he lives a normal life. He just wont take the next steps. He refuses to fully grow up. So when I see that he is sabotaging himself, I usually just sit back and watch it all unfold.
I’m kind of to the point where I am sick seeing him do this to himself. I mean, seriously, enough is enough. I’m sucking sick of it. He’s hurting other people, as well as himself. So I opened my big mouth. I let out a can of worms that have been building up for about four or five years now. I told him the truth, I said what everyone else was thinking but was too scared to tell him.
Thing is, I know this hurt him. I feel so fucking bad for saying something. Who am I to tell him how to live his life?:
I also feel like, as his best friend, I am exactly the person who needs to tell him how it is. I dont even know where to begin with this one… or how to make it better, I’m just hoping he listened and eventually he will forgve me.
February 8th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
You did what every best friend hates doing sometimes…You told him the honest, painful truth for his own good…because you see his full potential.
He WILL forgive you…and it will work out. It’ll just take some time and patience on your part…and maybe on his.
Best of luck!
February 8th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
stuff like this sucks. but it has to be done. he needed an intervention.. i’ve gone through this before, and it tested our friendship. we went through a rough patch, but we ended up able to talk about it. you’re his best friend. you made him think.
February 9th, 2009 at 12:19 am
As much as it sucks tough love is what he needed. I think you did the right thing, and in time it will all work out.
February 9th, 2009 at 12:23 am
Silly. Think about it. All the other letters require folding your hands or fingers or something. Well except for maybe a C. But a C can be backwards. An L just looks silly and again - could be backwards. O is already used for ok. And V looks like you’re doing a weird reverse prayer. So obviously, T is the most functional letter that’s easy to produce, has little chance of appearing backwards, and has no religious symbolism.
Also. While the truth may hurt initially, it is needed. I can’t tell you how many times my best friend and I have gone through the same thing. It just makes us stronger.
February 9th, 2009 at 2:44 am
You know exactly what I think. Fingers crossed it works out for you buddy.
February 9th, 2009 at 2:49 am
How could you truly be his best friend if you *didn’t* say anything?
February 9th, 2009 at 3:04 am
Ugh, I’ve been on the other side of that. Having my best friends in the whole world tell me things I didn’t want to hear. I argued, I cried, I was very angry. But eventually I realized that they were right and I tried to change. I am now grateful that they they told me the truth. And we’ve become closer as a result. I know that they’ll call me out on my shit and really? That’s what best friends are supposed to do.
February 9th, 2009 at 8:17 am
everything is possible
February 9th, 2009 at 11:31 am
nah man, you didn’t do anything wrong. The truth hurts. and if family or your closest friends can’t tell you the truth straight up, then who can? I mean, I take my family and close friend’s opinions very seriously. They have to know something…
February 9th, 2009 at 11:44 am
To me, that’s exactly what a best friend should do - tell you what you don’t want to hear, but need to. With any luck, he respects you enough to listen to you - or at least think about what you said.
February 9th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
You know what I’ve learned? Sometimes people don’t want to hear it. Even when you’ve told them. They just don’t want to listen. And they will keep on doing whatever it is they want to do.
I’ve done what you did quite a number of times with various friends and I got told off by them. So I just keep my yap shut now.
But I really hope your friend still listened to what you said and manages to turn things around for the better. I think you two will be ok. Just give it a bit of time.
February 9th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
You did the right thing. It really does sucks, but it was the right thing to do, no way around that man.
If he’s ready to deal, he’ll accept and forgive. Just needs time.
I’ve always wondered about the T thing too, maybe someone should do some reasearch.
February 9th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Surely sitting back and doing nothing would be worse? Sounds like you did the right thing as a friend.
February 9th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
I gotta agree with Nicole Antoinette on this one. I know I’ve been hurt when I found out people had realized I was in a bad situation and never said anything. He should know you well enough to know that you would never say anything just to hurt your feelings. I hope it all turns out okay.
February 9th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Situations like this can be very difficult. If my best friend was doing something that I really disagreed with and I felt she needed to her my opinion, I would tell her. I would also tell her that I would support her in whatever decision that she made, but I wanted her to hear my opinion.
You did what you thought you had to do to help your friend out. He will realize it someday. I think you just need to make it clear in a guy way that you are his friend and that you just care about him…
Just don’t tell me what I don’t want to hear and we will all be set=)
February 12th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
I have a friend just like this. She’s been in a vicious cycle for like…her entire life. She’s hurting herself and everyone who cares about her.
I still haven’t gotten up the moxy to tell her that everyone’s tired of it, and she needs to suck it up and stop it.
I’m proud of you.
You’re more of a man than I, my friend. Which I’m kinda relieved about.
March 21st, 2009 at 12:21 am
It is best to come from you….as you mean it to help him.
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