Reunion
My 10 year high school reunion is this summer. Facebook groups have been formed and dates are being thrown around.
I find this both exciting and a little petrifying.
Unlike seemingly the rest of the world, I didn’t hate high school.
(My last years of elementary and first years of junior high were a whole ‘nother story. My parents selfishly moved us when I was 10 years old from a city where I was popular enough to hang with the Grade 7 at lunch to a small town where they made fun of my name and thought what were effortlessly cool and casual outfits in my old school were signs that I was secretly poor. They threw my jacket in the garbage can, and a boy I had an inexplicable crush on chased me off the playground one day shouting “Do you know what a dildo is?”)
It could be that I graduated from a school so small that there were only two major divisions, hippies versus rednecks. Though there was the occasional Patchouli or snowmobile joke tossed across the hallway, we generally got along well. Sure, there was the one scarily fierce redheaded girl who wanted to beat me up, but as long as I avoided her path, things went well. I had lots of friends, many of whom I am still close to today. I got good grades. I was nominated for Valedictorian, though I lost the election. I was involved in theatre, student government, peer counseling. I was busy most weekends.
It was still high school though. Most days I was caught up in the countdown to freedom. I was dumped in those hallways. My shoes were made fun of. I was the subject of rumours. Friends stormed away from me after slamming their lockers. My PE performance was the source of ridicule, and brought my GPA down tremendously. But these are the cliched stories of high school we all have in our memory banks. Nothing about them makes my high school days stand out more than anyone else’s.
Part of me is excited to see faces I haven’t seen in years, to hear voices long lost in promises to keep in touch, to be told their life stories over the past decade.
And then I remember the comparison factor.
Many a friend has set the ten year reunion as a deadline of sorts for their adult accomplishments. One friend murmurs in my ear “I’m going to flip if he doesn’t put a ring on my finger by the reunion”. Another bemoans being one of the token singles at the corner table.
How do I stand?
I don’t own a house, though I live in a lovely (rented) apartment in the big city.
I’m not married or engaged, though I live with the man who I expect will fill that gap in a few years.
I have no babies. Babies scare me right now. I don’t even have a cat or a fish. The closest thing I do is water the vine climbing our wall.
I don’t have a car, but I do have a shiny bus pass.
I do have a Masters degree, and I am but a few small steps from a PhD. I also have a research grant, a pile of papers dominating my desk, and a student loan.
I guess that means I do have a good career on reserve somewhere out there.
I am happy. Carless and babyless as I may, I guess that makes it all okay. Maybe I can wear my name tag with some pride. And laugh out loud at the photos of me in my lime green vinyl jacket and too much eye liner that are bound to emerge.
February 17th, 2009 at 2:23 am
As a veteran of the 10,15,20,25,30,and 35th high school reunions and a graduate of a small school with similar divisions, I encourage you to go.
The 10th is perhaps he worst, but it is still good to see people and discover how they have changed. People that you couldn’t have tolerated nor they tolerate you in HS and now completely different and fun to talk with. The few idiots that haven’t changed and grown usually sit in the corner.
And the best thing? The crew that seemed to be so far removed socially is now close. Some of the pretty are now ugly and vice versa. Some with big plans made it and many didn’t. But it doesn’t make any difference because there is a shared background to allow conversation.
I think you are worried too much about where you are and comparisons. Just enjoy the moment and go.
February 17th, 2009 at 3:48 am
I’m still about seven years from my high school reunion but like you I’m one of those weird people who actually enjoyed high school. I am a year short on the bachelor’s, I rent an apartment, I do own a car, I have pretty much adopted my girlfriend’s daughter as my own, so I’ll have to see how I stack up when I get to my own reunion.
Enjoy yourself Ma’am.
February 17th, 2009 at 4:18 am
Oh goodness, I’d hate to do this…. I have achieved nothing at all!
February 17th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Yeah. I think mine is in…four years? I’m hoping around then I’ll be working somewhere that I like and living somewhere I like. I’m not really all that concerned with the rest, as the only people I knew in high school were those that were in this tiny program with me.
February 17th, 2009 at 9:56 am
my poor PE performance brought down my GPA as well. i always passed the written tests with flying colors though! lol
my 10 year reunion will be next summer, and i’m having the same fears. that i haven’t accomplished enough. like i should have popped out at least 2.5 babies by now.
but i’m thinking you should be proud of what you’ve accomplished, even though it is a little scary to think you’ll be comparing yourself to your former classmates.
February 17th, 2009 at 10:06 am
I graduated from a small school where we were all friends. At first it seemed like having a 10 year reunion would be fun, but the closer it came to the time the more and more people had something else going on until it was cancelled. While I did enjoy high school, I wasn’t planning on attending. Renuions are different things to different people, wear your name tag with pride, you have most certainly accomplished a lot!
February 17th, 2009 at 10:40 am
My ten year reunion is next year!
I doubt I will go though, not because I dont want to laugh at people (because believe me I do) but because I was an ass in high school and didn’t socialize with very many people.
Fact is, most the people I knew from high school are… well, going to be busy for another 2-5 years.
February 17th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Mine’s in three years. I’m not going because everyone I want to see again is on my Facebook friends list, so why brother seeing the rest?