Discomfort Zone
Like Pavlov’s dogs, I’m learning that certain triggers will send me into an unplanned response. More specifically, certain phrases will send me into a blood curdling, hair tingling, cold and uncomfortable sweat that will prompt me to lie in the fetal position under my bed and drink whiskey until I think I AM Johnny Cash.
Okay, I exaggerate, but here are some phrases that make me prone to fits of extreme rage, or you know, just uncomfortable or unhappy…
- “I signed us up for karokee, stop drinking so fast, let’s do this song sober!”
- “Hi there, this is Revenue Canada. Can we please speak to Brandy?”
- “You’re late” (I hate,hate, HATE being late)
- “It’s time for a pap smear!”
- “It broke” (And to quote Louis Armstrong, ‘if you have to ask, you’ll never know’)
- “Now, I know we said we weren’t going to cut a lot of hair off this time, but I thought this Dorothy Hamill cut would really suit you. Hey, why are you crying?”
- “Nope, we don’t have you booked on this airplane, sorry! Now can you step aside for the next person in line?”
- “Hey, dude, I’m watching your house burn down right now. No really. Ohhh, they just smashed your window.”
- “I don’t want to date you anymore, but happy birthday.”
- “Ma’am, I need to see your license and registration” (this is only uncomfortable when I’m driving with expired insurance…)
And of course, the ever popular, never appreciated
- “I have some bad news”
What phrase do most dislike?
April 1st, 2009 at 10:53 pm
“at the end of the day”
“from my standpoint”
“we are out of vodka”
April 1st, 2009 at 11:27 pm
“Relax.”
“You’re overreacting.”
April 1st, 2009 at 11:41 pm
“I’m late…” (Version #1) (Clearly)
“I’m late…” (Version #2) (Oh shit!)
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:01 am
Distracted Spunk- “You’re overreacting” is one of mine too! I HATE it when people say that and usually I end up getting even more crazy after it’s been said. This also happens when someone says “it’s not personal”.
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:25 am
From my boss…
“Do you have a second?”
It means I’m either in trouble for something or about to get 12 more projects.
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:20 am
“We need to talk”
“You’re perfect but… ”
“You remind me of your mother”
…
But really, the “we need to talk” will cause me to start breathing into paper bags. If those aren’t available, I try to slip plastic ones over my head. Even if I’m not, I automatically assume I am in TROUBLE.
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:50 am
“You and your father are so much alike.”
“I’m late.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
What a minute someone broke up with you and then said happy birthday? Seriously? Sigh.
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:20 am
“You are SO nice.”
To which I invariably reply: “I’m NOT nice. Seriously. Now take off your shirt.”
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:24 am
“Please step into my office, and close the door behind you.”
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:49 am
“Last Call…..”
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:52 am
“You act just like mom/dad.” Duh
“We need to talk.” Yuck
“We only carry low-fat chocolate chip muffins.”
“We’re all out of pie.”
“Wanna watch Dragonball Z all night?” Yeah, no
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:37 am
“Get over it.” Ugh.
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:54 am
“You know that really pretty grey wool dress that you love and asked me to NEVER put in the dryer?”
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Can we talk? It’s no big deal…
BAD BAD BAD. It’s ALWAYS a big deal!
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:23 pm
HOWEVER I do want to share a phrase that I love. When our office services staffer comes around at the end of the day collecting mail he calls out, “Last pick-up!” And it’s music to my ears
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:29 pm
“It is what it is” what the eff does that even mean?
“While you’re up” - even though I totally use it.
“relax” Seriously, when someone tells me to relax I NEVER actually relax. Unless it’s Delilah, my masseuse.
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:50 pm
“I’ll pay you back.” - no you never do, and it would be petty of me to ask you to.
“Just wait a second.” -usually by my boss after he has called me in to discuss something VERY PRESSING then gets distracted by YouTube
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:05 pm
oh, those are some doozies, for sure.
“we’re out of milk, and i didn’t get stop on the way home, did you?”
“it’s not a big deal, but…”
“it’s ‘fine.’” or “i’m ‘fine.’”– i hate “fine!”
“there’s no beer left.”
“i’m sorry, your stylist doesn’t have any openings for three weeks.”
“your account has reached its low balance threshold.”
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:07 pm
“Can we talk later?”
-Um no, actually, we can’t!
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:14 pm
“Having said that” - it reminds me of my driving instructor, and I HATED HER SO MUCH.
And shockingly, not only because she gave me a negative thirty six percent on my practise driving exam. For more reasons than that. Specifically, her habit of “always having said that.”
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:52 am
“Who did you come here with?” (the answer is usually NO ONE)
“Have you sold your house yet?”
“Will you come to my jewelry party?”
“Will you sort these coupons for me?” (when my mom and I go shopping, she hands me a HUGE stack of coupons to sort. But I comply because usually this means she will buy me things)
“Can I borrow a pair of shoes?”
“Aren’t you gonna have a grandbaby for me?” (Mom)
I also hate the word “re-do.”
April 6th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
“…BUT…”, but is NEVER a good word.
“Not to be rude” I always seem to say this followed by a very rude comment. I need to stop. I am becoming my own pet peeve. Ugh.
April 8th, 2009 at 2:08 am
“How much longer do you have left in school?”
Gah.
April 19th, 2009 at 12:18 am
everything happens for a reason . . . this triggers an automatic response of ‘bullshit’ to fly from my mouth EVERY time!
September 11th, 2010 at 4:33 am
Awesome Post, thanks for your fine Post. I will come back later _ Also great information about dating : Singles