My three loves.
So I was driving down to Pueblo, Co to see my family today (which is about two and a half hours away from Denver, where I live) and she asked me a question that caught me totally off guard.
Is there any of your ex’s that you wish you were still with?
Now this is kind of a tricky question to answer and I had to think for a second.
The first thing that pops into my head is my ex Dana. Who was my high school sweetheart. We were together for two years, off a year and then on another year. She was my first real love. I remember exactly why I broke up with her, I simply figured I was too young and we had been through A WHOLE LOT together (seriously, you couldn’t even imagine) so I didn’t think things would get any better. I remember giving her a whole bunch of weak reasons why we shouldn’t be together but the absolute truth was because I was doing drugs and partying too much, she didn’t fit into that lifestyle.
A year later when I sobered up, I tried to reconcile what we had. It didn’t work out, she essentially hated me and for good reason.
Then I thought about my ex Betty, we were together for two years. We ended up taking a last trip to Vegas where I proposed to her after dinner at a restaurant inside of Mandalay Bay called Rum Jungle. You can guess that I was drunk. Well she accepted and the whole trip turned into a huge never ending party type celebration. When we got back to Denver and sobered up, things were totally awkward. I think we both realized we didn’t mean it and weren’t ready. Instead of talking about it like mature adults, she cheated on me. I was really mad for years about it but looking back, I know it was her weird way to get out of the relationship that she knew was tainted and toxic. Sure, she’s still to blame but I do understand.
I turned my back on her and never talked to her again, though she tried for a short period of time after.
Then there’s Annette. Me and Annette got serious super fast. This was a couple years ago when I was 24 and she was 29. She had a huge house, a mercedes, a cadillac truck and she was beautiful. Exactly what I was looking for, right? Our short but passionate relationship lasted six months. I remember breaking it off because I was under extreme pressure by her to get married and start giving her puppies, which I get. I know she had everything in life that she wanted except a family. I just felt so pressured and trapped, I called it off without giving her any reason at all which made the break up hard for her to accept.
I played the jerk on that one. Again.
So back to the question my mom asked me… do I wish I was still with any of them? I replied…
No, Mom… not any of them.
April 12th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
matt, you did a great job writing this post, seriously. she’s still out there, don’t worry.
April 12th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Kudos on not trying to reinvent something that didn’t work the first time. I’ve been guilty of this before, typically when something ELSE didn’t work out, I start wondering what (insertexbf’snamehere) is up to…
And I love Denver.
April 13th, 2009 at 12:20 am
None of these three seem right for you. You’re too awesome to settle.
April 13th, 2009 at 12:50 am
Um, when you said “she” (line 2), I thought it was another girlfriend or something. I was surprised, because, as far as I know, you’re still single (and ready to mingle).
Then, I realized it was your mom, and the cloud of “Why would a new GF ask such a thing?” went away.
April 13th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Agreed with nicoleantoinette.
April 13th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
They’re ex’s for a reason. Usually a really good reason. (or a few dozen good reasons)
April 13th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Glad you clarified that was your MOM who asked the question. You left us hangin on that one until the end of the post, like Andy said.
And I also agree that they’re exes for a reason.
April 13th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
I think it says a lot that you are able to look back and know the REAL reasons these things didn’t work! It takes… maturity.
That’s right, I just threw the “M” word at you!… Well, one of them anyway.
April 15th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Angh…I figure when the times right we’ll all find who we’re meant to be with. Hopefully you learned something from each of them…like what you do and don’t want when the right one comes along.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:30 am
My current boyfriend once asked me which of my ex’s I look back on with the most fondness. Although I don’t have a vicious hate on for any of them but one (see my personal blog post entitled The Worst Boyfriend ever), I also feel like while they may have been what I needed (or not) in the past, I can see them as real people now, who are not really right for me. Kind of like taking the rose coloured glasses off.
April 19th, 2009 at 12:27 am
the bittersweet reflection and knowing the answer is no is so freeing.