The one I almost didn’t write
I hesitate to write about this.
I tend to stick to funny stories, or stories that are my own- where I’m center stage (for better or worse) and my actions are the ones that can be judged. But I find myself thinking more and more of what I’m trying not to write instead of what I want to write and so I have turned to my favourite coping mechanism- writing and will try to say what I want in the most gentle and thoughtful way possible.
I have a brother. A brother who is one of my favourite people in the entire world. I use those words as seriously as I can- out of six billion people, I would select my brother as the funniest person I know. He’s one of those people who everyone wants to talk to as soon as he walks into the room. He makes friends with everybody- his cell phone holds the numbers of the young, the old and everyone in between (including a NHL hockey players and singers who he’s met and befriended). He’s the kind of guy you can call to fix a tire, tell you a joke, get you tickets to the game that’s sold out.
But he’s exhausting.
He’s 3 am phone calls and missing for days. He’s minor car accidents and police involvement. He’s broken promises, missed appointments, and a mom who worries all the time. He’s a thousand excuses why he’s late, why he never showed, why he forgot something he promised he wouldn’t. And now? He’s engaged.
He’s engaged and he hasn’t told me. I found out through a friend who has known for over a week. He’s told everyone but me- even though I see him often. The person who I told everything to growing up, the person who saw me with a perm, saw me through my love of clothes embroidered with Sesame Street characters (tell me I’m not the only one who loved those shirts?), who heard me sing to Bon Jovi more times than any person should have to, hasn’t mentioned a single thing about the fact he’s getting married.
I told one of my friend the other day that out of everything, this has hurt my feelings the most. And in that moment I said a thousand times- “I don’t know why it bugs me so much”, but truthfully, I guess I do. It bugs me because I would have told him. And not only would I have told him, he would have been the first person I wanted to tell.
Brothers are lame. The end.
April 30th, 2009 at 3:05 am
Boys suck in general! I hope he tells you soon and I’m sure he has a reason! X
April 30th, 2009 at 8:10 am
This should have been siblings week here at UNW.
Anyway, I am thinking of a great nickname to call you by- I’m positive it will be awesome.
However you will probably not like it.
April 30th, 2009 at 8:34 am
Have you talked to him about it? I mean, you could wait and let him bring it up, but that might make you feel more upset and make the actual discussion a little more angry than preferable.
Maybe the best route is to confront him and say, “So I hear there’s big news your way” and see what he says. I could throw a lot of maybes your way, but I don’t know your brother, so I can’t try to guess what he’s thinking. :/
April 30th, 2009 at 11:33 am
My brother’s in jail. Wanna trade?
April 30th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Sigh. Brothers ARE lame. I totally relate to this.
April 30th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like her. And because you mean so much to him, he knows that he’d have to get rid of her.
Or brothers suck.
April 30th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
I’m sorry. That really sucks and it was thoughtless of him not to tell you. I should say, though, that I’ve sometimes inadvertently done the same thing, and I really meant no harm. I didn’t tell my sister that I was moving to California. We just don’t have the kind of relationship where I tell her everything. But, I found out later that she was hurt by it.
April 30th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
I’m sorry… relationships that are lopsided, esp with family members, are tough to deal with. Maybe he just doesn’t realize what your expectations are and if you brought it up, he’d be a little more considerate? Boys can be pretty thoughtless sometimes.
April 30th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Ugh, that really sucks. Our siblings are supposed to tell us everything before they tell our parents. But you’re right, brothers do suck sometimes.
Here’s hoping he apologizes profusely when he finally gets the cajones to tell you.
May 1st, 2009 at 9:32 pm
My sister “forgot “to tell me for over a month that she had moved in with her boyfriend. It stings, doesn’t it?
June 11th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Much like the realization that our parents are human….the same thing happens with our siblings.