Age is Just a Number
Today’s guest post has been submitted by Jack, a former blogger who is getting his feet wet once again on the interwebs. Maris will be back in action next week!
They say age is just a number, and many times that’s true. Your age, in a very scientific sense, is the quantitative measure of your lifetime. But that’s not the way that phrase tends to be used. When you hear someone say “age is just a number,” it’s typically in reference to two people of differing ages, and they’re almost invariably referring to those people dating.
But what does “age is just a number” actually mean? Sure, in some cases people may be mature beyond their years (or their immaturity may belie their years), but that’s more the exception than the rule. By and large, people’s ages are a pretty damn good representation of who they are, or at least how they act.
Traditionally, older men tend to date younger women—we all know that. For whatever reason, we’ve been socialized into thinking a “normal” relationship consists of an older man with a younger woman. But I’ve been noticing an interesting trend lately. Maybe it’s a product of my stage in life, but I’ve been seeing a lot of guys dating slightly older girls. And when you stop to think about it, it really makes sense.
At 25, I’m at a point in my life where I can more readily identify with an older woman than with a younger one. Now don’t get me wrong—I’m not out trawling the bars for cougars. But when it comes to dating, it’s just a whole lot more logical for me to date an older member of my peer group. I can much more easily see myself dating a 28-year-old than a 22-year-old. Call it a maturity thing, call it a stage-of-life thing, but I just have much more in common with someone in their mid-to-late 20s.
The last 4 women (and when they hit their late 20s, they really do qualify as women) I’ve dated have been at least a year older than I am, and I have to say it’s been great. Not only do I have plenty of fodder for cracking jokes about their advanced age, but we just seem to have a better connection in general. A younger girl is either: A) still in college, or B) too in touch with college to be a good match for me. At the end of the day, our priorities are just too different.
So back to the question at hand: What does “age is just a number” really mean? The answer: It means everything, and it means absolutely nothing. Age really is just that—a number. But does it matter? Yes, because it largely determines our stage in life, and that ultimately holds more weight than anything. The qualities that come with age—maturity, wisdom, character—are what really make the difference.
So now it’s your turn. Let’s sound off on the age issue. Is it just a number? Or is that just some fallacy we’ve programmed ourselves to believe so we have a larger pool of dating prospects? Ladies, do you tend to date up, or is there something attractive about the younger man? Guys, are you part of the trend towards dating older women, or do you prefer the traditional role? Let’s hear it.
May 6th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Its just a number.
However- I will say this. I am all for dating older or younger or whatever but it seems like, if they are older that they have children or some kind of weird baggage.
Welcome back to blogging.
May 6th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Welcome back!
Im a 30 year old dating a guy 4/5 years my junior for the last year. Just because im 30 doesnt mean im ready for all that a 30+ man wants (marriage, settling down etc, and believe me, ive dated men older than me and this is true). I prefer younger men, they have respect for me as being older and they are proud of having an ‘older’ woman on their arm.
Mind you, i don’t look 30. At all. Usually people think im younger than my bloke!
P.s Im not a woman at 30 - i think you can only be described as a woman past 50 these days!
May 6th, 2009 at 8:34 am
I’m 31, my lovely other half is 28. i’ve always dated older men in the past this is my first younger guy and it’s working out exceptionally well. i don’t think that it makes a difference if the person is older or younger so long as your life experiences match up in some way (which i think is what you are referring to with the college stuff really).
Oh and i am definitely a woman, not a girl, yeuch i wouldn’t want to go back to being one of those again
Welcome back to the blogosphere x
May 6th, 2009 at 10:18 am
I’m not opposed to dating a younger man at some point in my life, but I’m not looking to do it now, at 21. I think people of all/any ages can have a connection.
But it starts to get weird when there’s a large gap, I say anything more than 15 years.
May 6th, 2009 at 10:40 am
I’ve always dated older guys, some way older, and I eventually married a guy 4 years my senior. I think this works for us because it takes him a little longer to get ready for the next step- marriage, mortgage, babies- so I don’t have to wait too long for him to be ready. It works for us.
That said, I enjoy the company of younger men. It seems they are somewhat in awe of me, or maybe they just show it more readily than older guys do. Some of my sister’s friends played puppy dog while I was visiting her- following me around and just in general paying me a lot of attention. That rocks, and older guys seem less inclined to be that open. Either that, or I don’t inspire them!
As far as girl/woman? To me, you earn that. Girls aren’t comfortable in their own skin. They don’t have as much real confidence or independence. I’ve met 50 year old girls and 16 year old women.
May 6th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I think, that within a certain range, it isn’t a big deal. My current guy is a few months younger than me (which he always exaggerates the significance of), my last serious boyfriend was 4 years older. It has more to do with other commonalities than age at that point.
I do think, though, that big age differences can be a little exploitive. Not always, but sometimes. I know a few friends who dated guys who were 10-15 years older than then when they were in their late teens/early 20s say that they didn’t know better, and were a little taken advantage of in their naivete.
May 6th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
I’ve always tended to date younger guys. I’m not sure why. I really do think age is only a number, it’s the person that matters most.
May 6th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I’m 28, and I really started enjoying dating younger men (like 2 years younger at the most) when i was 26. I’ve never dated anyone older than me. I’m sure it could work if, like the above commenter said, commonalities were in place…but I tend to be serious sometimes AND goofy retarded sometimes and I like someone who can either bring out my silly side and/ or join in with me. I think most people call it having FUN. I am all for that. I haven’t met an older guy who has that balance between fun and “acting our age”, yet.
For me it’s about balance.
I consider myself a woman, fo sho, but I HATE being called “Ma’am”!!!
May 7th, 2009 at 4:18 am
I’m 28, and I really started enjoying dating younger men (like 2 years younger at the most) when i was 26. I’ve never dated anyone older than me. I’m sure it could work if, like the above commenter said, commonalities were in place…but I tend to be serious sometimes AND goofy retarded sometimes and I like someone who can either bring out my silly side and/ or join in with me. I think most people call it having FUN. I am all for that. I haven’t met an older guy who has that balance between fun and “acting our age”, yet.
For me it’s about balance.
I consider myself a woman, fo sho, but I HATE being called “Ma’am”!!!
P.S. - Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!
May 9th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Age is just a number.
It depends where you are in life. What your priorities are. What you’re looking for. You may be 25 and ready for the real world - job, mortgage, rent, bills, etc. However, I dated a 25 year old guy who still lived at home and still partyed with his friends from college every weekend. You and him sound like you are on very opposite ends of the spectrum, but you are the same age.
I want someone who has a similar lifestyle to myself and who wants the same things that I do. If he’s 25, great. If he’s 35, that’s fine too. Age is just a number.
May 9th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
I think I prefer the older guys over the younger ones. I dated a younger guy and he acted like such a boy. I need a man in my life. The younger ones are always so immature and the older guys are more experienced and better
I’m 25 and I’m dating a 28 yr old. But then again age is just a number, its really all about the person. My inner child is like 12.
Also we seem to be at the same point in our lives, so thats always a plus. Its hard to date someone who’s on a different wavelength than you.
A lot of the older guys I’ve dated already own houses/condos and are extablished in their careers, whereas I am still renting, not in a job I want as a career. But, the funny thing is that he looks much younger.
p.s.- nice post!!!
May 12th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I would probably “date up” (I’m engaged to a 30-year-old, so I’m guessing here!). I’m 23-years-old (soon to be 24!). I graduated with my bachelors degree when I turned 21 and my masters degree a year later. I have been working full-time for nearly 2 years now. I’m not too interested in the college lifestyle anymore. Not that there is anything wrong with it… I’m mostly too tired after working, rock climbing, etc.
I don’t think age matters really… mostly where you see yourself now and in the future. Like I said, the future hubs is 30-years-old and I honestly place ourselves on the same level (most of the time).
May 20th, 2009 at 4:37 am
I am an attractive, intelligent, educated, and emotionally stable 28yo, that has always dated up (within a couple year’s range). But I now find myself about to enter into a relationship with a 17yo guy. Definitely on the fringe of acceptable, I know.
He is 11 years my junior, but is more mature and comfortable in his own skin, than most guys I have ever dated. I can have fun with him the way I never could with guys my age or older. But when it comes right down to it, no man has ever made my blood race the way he does.
In my opinion, if entered into for the right reasons, without any personal or emotional issues attached, I think age can be just a number. But it depends on the people wearing the numbers.
November 3rd, 2010 at 6:30 pm
i am taking my masters degree on a local school and i love it .
December 2nd, 2010 at 6:12 am
getting a masters degree is of course necessary if you want a wage increase and improvement in your career *`.