A Return to Blogging
Some of you may have noticed his comments on several recent posts, but the newest blogger to grace the pages of UNW is Kurt, a 25-year-old copywriter from New York. When he’s not busy writing ad and marketing copy by day, he will share with us the insights of a single guy living in the city. While he doesn’t currently maintain his own blog, he may be inspired to start one in the coming months. Stay tuned, and in the meantime enjoy UNW’s newest addition!
Having been away from blogging for a while, I’m happy to be posting again in the interim Friday slot here on UNW. I’ll try to keep the content as fresh and interesting as possible, particularly since this is the slot to kick off the weekend!
Before I get into the meat of this post, let me quickly tell you about my past blogging experience. I used to maintain a blog that recounted the dating adventures of a young single guy in New York (me). A little narcissistic, I’ll admit, but it was a fun way to break into the blogosphere.
The crazy thing was, it actually ended up being mildly successful. It led to me being considered as a blogger for Cosmo’s website, although I was inevitably passed over for someone else. Still, I found it very interesting that so many people liked reading about my dating escapades, even when they’d never met me.
So that led me to the topic for this post: Why are we so interested in the love lives of other people?
Personally, I think it’s the same reason we go to the movies: To escape the everyday humdrum of our own little lives.
But I have to wonder further… why do we find storylines so incredibly intoxicating, even if they’re being lived by other people? It’s like gossip—everyone at some point enjoys hearing about someone else’s love life.
I think the reason for that is very simple, although it might not be that obvious: We want to be given hope, or we want to feel thankful for what we have.
Hope explains why so many women (and I’m sure a fair number of men out there) enjoy romance novels and romantic comedies. They help us believe that someday our prince (or princess?) will come. But it doesn’t even have to be as profound as love. I think the reason my dating blog had a following wasn’t because my love life was particularly exciting. It was because it reminded people that stories are out there being written every day; it gave readers hope that someday they’d be part of their own story.
Now on the flipside, if we’re not getting hope out of it, we’re probably looking to feel better about the things we have. Take a sad or depressing story, for example. After hearing it, don’t we examine our own lives and think about everything we have? I think that’s the other reason my blog was successful: it allowed people in happy relationships to see through the eyes of a single person for a while, only to gratefully return to the safety and comfort of their relationships.
Admittedly, this post has gotten a little deep—much deeper than I anticipated when I set out writing. But it speaks to a profound truth about people: we love walking in other people’s shoes just like we love going to the movies. It allows us to escape, even if just for a little while.
OK, now it’s your turn. Why do you think we like hearing about other people’s dating experiences? Do you agree with me—does it allow us to escape for a while? Or are people just plain nosey?
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:53 am
I’m in complete agreement!! It’s like reading a book filled with short stories. I lack the attention span (read: mild ADHD) for long-winded romance novels; so short snippets of peoples lives is perfect for me - and even more perfect that the stories are from other peoples lives…and not just made up to sell books!!
I think it also makes you realise that anything really is possible. If you’re unhappy with yourself or with your life, reading someone elses escapades might actually make you do something to help yourself. I’m not sure that makes sense (but I get it hehe). xx
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:56 am
Welcome, Kurt! I very much agree with your point. Not only does it feel good to walk in others’ shoes for a temporary amount of time, but we can also learn and empathize in similar situations.
May 22nd, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Your right on point. I’m not nosey but if someone wants to share their experiences I’m willing to read.
May 24th, 2009 at 11:59 am
In my case, it’s more nosiness than anything else. But in the cases of bad dating stories, I guess it reminds me that everyone else is in, or has been in, the same boat as me at one stage!
May 25th, 2009 at 12:58 am
I think you’re partly right- of course it is partially to escape, to live vicariously through others. Particularly for those of us who are bunned up with the one we love, and no longer in “The Game.”
BUT, I think the “whys” depend on where you are in life. Are you also on the hunt? You read dating stories to relate, to discuss, to learn.
Some of the older and wiser like to preach, to share the lessons they learned while stumbling through The Game, to pass on what they took from it during their time as a pawn.
Dating stories appeal to the masses because we all, at one point, live it ourselves, and it is arguably the most important game any of us engage in during our lives- finding a partner is what many people in our society consider to be the key piece to building the foundation for a life. I’m not saying I necessarily agree with this, but it is certainly the most passionate journey any of us take, and one that we can all relate to, no matter what station of life we happen to be at in the current moment.
May 25th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I think it’s all about what you said…some people want to escape the routine rate race and head over into someone elses world for perhaps insight, advice etc. And others, as you say, find some stories make them feel happy with what they have. Me? I just love to gossip lol
May 25th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m nosy. Sometimes though I enjoy hearing about other people’s relationships for the reminder that some things are worth working for, waiting for, fighting for.