Men Are From Mars and Women….?
It’s no secret that men and women have, well, some differences. It’s no secret that our bodies don’t look the same and our minds don’t work the same. I had always known this, because, you know, there are some basic reasons that they teach you right off the bat.
In college, I took a waitressing job one summer at a local steakhouse, where mostly everyone I worked with was near my age. I became chatty with a girl named Sarah, who was dating another server named Greg. Allegedly, they’d been seeing each other for about a year when things became shaky.
One night, I happened to be on the receiving end of a recap of the previous night’s events from both parties. Sarah’s story went something like:
“Greg called me last night to tell me how much he missed me and that he needed to see me. He told me he thinks he’s falling for me and he wanted to come over to see me. He sounded drunk and I didn’t want him to drive. Since it was 3 AM, I picked him up, we wound up falling asleep together and he spent the night.”
I awwed, I offered an obligatory “isn’t-he-cute” and about an hour later, Greg bestowed his charming version of the evening on another waiter while I happened to be innocently standing by (and thankfully, once Sarah was otherwise occupied):
“Yeah, guess who called me last night…I think she was wasted but she was begging me to come over. I didn’t want to but she said if I came over, she’d [retracted] me. I let her pick me up, because I sure as hell didn’t want a DUI and then I woke up in the morning, had no idea where I was and all I wanted was to find my car and leave but it wasn’t there.”
Aside from feeling sympathy for poor Sarah (and initial disgust over Greg’s attitude), who had clearly been treated with little regard (the expression “town bicycle” comes to mind…) I was mostly amused. Whose version of the story was right? While I found it hard to believe Sarah’s happily ever after tale, I also don’t think she’d had to drag Greg over to her house, kicking and screaming. Maybe he’d simply been offered an opportunity that sounded good to him and he’d accepted the invitation.
Or, maybe he’s a jerk! (Just kidding, guys! I kid, I kid).
Not that all examples of the male/female divide are this blatantly degrading to one sex or the other, so what are some examples you’ve seen of men and women thinking about or perceiving situations differently?
May 27th, 2009 at 7:49 am
I kissed a guy once…more like a peck on the cheek which he initiated. I wasn’t that bothered by it but apparently (from friends etc) I was ‘gagging for it’ and ‘couldn’t get enough of him’…I think he perceived things WAAAAAAY differently than I did that night…bless him (NOT!)
May 27th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Ewe! I can’t believe his version was THAT far off!!
I once went on three dates with this guy who made me feel like the man and he the woman. He came on WAY too strong emotionally and after he didn’t get the hint the first two times I said it made me uncomfortable, I decided to break it off. Soon, there were FB statuses changing at every hour talking about how heartbroken he was, how he thought I was different, bla bla bla. Thankfully, none of his friends knew who I was so it was just a matter of unfriending, but still. Talk about skewed perceptions.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:20 am
He sounds like a great guy.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:36 am
I had an interesting “guys thinking” vs. “girls thinking” scenario come up just this past weekend. I was invited to a barbecue on Monday, and the girl I’ve been seeing was also invited. Although I am better friends with the hosts, I would consider them our mutual friends so I expected to see her there at some point. It turns out she decided against coming because she hadn’t received a personal invite from me. As a guy, I assumed the invite from the host outweighed any invite I might extend, but apparently she viewed it differently. Then, when we talked about it later, she seemed annoyed that I hadn’t personally invited her. Wtf?
May 27th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
I mostly just see differences when men think they can take things MUCH further because “she’s been really flirty all night.” What if she’s just a flirt? She’s not a whore!
May 27th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
I think both versions are a bit off–she was most likely blind to the signals he sends her, and he was probably trying to show off for his buddy.
May 27th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
I KNEW Matt would say something like that.