Comments on: A Contribution to the Debate http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/ Overcoming the Quarter-life Crisis Sun, 01 Aug 2010 03:47:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Princess Pointful http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/#comment-2969 Princess Pointful Mon, 01 Jun 2009 19:23:34 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=743#comment-2969 My boyfriend's best friend is a woman, and an attractive one at that. I can't tell you how much flack I get about it, but, really, it doesn't bother me. If he wanted to be with her, he would, but he doesn't. Simple as that. My boyfriend’s best friend is a woman, and an attractive one at that. I can’t tell you how much flack I get about it, but, really, it doesn’t bother me. If he wanted to be with her, he would, but he doesn’t. Simple as that.

]]> By: Paula http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/#comment-2955 Paula Sat, 30 May 2009 20:12:15 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=743#comment-2955 I've been in both situations - really good friends with a guy that ended up turning into something more, and really good friends with a guy that I NEVER will (although I DID think for a while he liked me, and was a bit worried about it) but I can't abide when people gossip and link me to my male friends when they know NOTHING about the situation. I’ve been in both situations - really good friends with a guy that ended up turning into something more, and really good friends with a guy that I NEVER will (although I DID think for a while he liked me, and was a bit worried about it) but I can’t abide when people gossip and link me to my male friends when they know NOTHING about the situation.

]]> By: Larissa http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/#comment-2953 Larissa Sat, 30 May 2009 00:17:09 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=743#comment-2953 oh my gosh. im so happy you wrote this post! I've been struggling with this subject for a couple months now. I have a couple really close guy friends, who are strictly friends, nothing more, nothing less. and its a pain when we go out for lunch or dinner and the bill is given to the guy- ack! stop that, we're not on a date, just friends. my ex and i have been chatting and hanging out and I must say i dont feel the attraction at all, people wonder all the time about us getting back together and his gf is paranoid. But we just dont want to jump each other anymore. and I'm sad because people assume when they shouldnt. so yes like you I believe you can be just friends, but it gets icky when one person wants the other and the second doesnt feel the same. oh my gosh. im so happy you wrote this post! I’ve been struggling with this subject for a couple months now. I have a couple really close guy friends, who are strictly friends, nothing more, nothing less. and its a pain when we go out for lunch or dinner and the bill is given to the guy- ack! stop that, we’re not on a date, just friends.

my ex and i have been chatting and hanging out and I must say i dont feel the attraction at all, people wonder all the time about us getting back together and his gf is paranoid. But we just dont want to jump each other anymore. and I’m sad because people assume when they shouldnt.

so yes like you I believe you can be just friends, but it gets icky when one person wants the other and the second doesnt feel the same.

]]> By: Serena http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/#comment-2950 Serena Fri, 29 May 2009 20:28:11 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=743#comment-2950 Amen to that! 90% of my friends are guys and yes I may have hooked up with one or two of them at one point or another but we, like you, are fiercely protective over our friendships and that has sometimes caused us problems. I've even had them dump girlfriends because they couldn't accept me as a friend and felt constantly threatened by me even though they feel like my brothers. I am a true believe in platonic friendships - I wouldn't change them for the world! x Amen to that! 90% of my friends are guys and yes I may have hooked up with one or two of them at one point or another but we, like you, are fiercely protective over our friendships and that has sometimes caused us problems. I’ve even had them dump girlfriends because they couldn’t accept me as a friend and felt constantly threatened by me even though they feel like my brothers.

I am a true believe in platonic friendships - I wouldn’t change them for the world! x

]]> By: Andrea http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/#comment-2949 Andrea Fri, 29 May 2009 20:22:45 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=743#comment-2949 Two of my BEST friends are guys, and I love it. They give me the perspective I need, but none of the typical drama I have with my female friends. Also, I feel that it's easier to maintain the friendships I have with guys vs. girls--if I don't call them for a month they don't flip out, its just business as usual. Two of my BEST friends are guys, and I love it. They give me the perspective I need, but none of the typical drama I have with my female friends. Also, I feel that it’s easier to maintain the friendships I have with guys vs. girls–if I don’t call them for a month they don’t flip out, its just business as usual.

]]> By: Angela http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/#comment-2948 Angela Fri, 29 May 2009 18:01:40 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=743#comment-2948 I think men and women can be just friends, I've got a ton that I've had since I was a toddler. But I think it's usually just a little more complicated when you meet when you're older. I think men and women can be just friends, I’ve got a ton that I’ve had since I was a toddler. But I think it’s usually just a little more complicated when you meet when you’re older.

]]> By: Matt http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/#comment-2947 Matt Fri, 29 May 2009 18:00:18 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=743#comment-2947 but if you guys never "hooked up", do you think you would have reached the same comfort level that you have now? but if you guys never “hooked up”, do you think you would have reached the same comfort level that you have now?

]]> By: Imerika http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/#comment-2946 Imerika Fri, 29 May 2009 17:01:03 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=743#comment-2946 I like the post--but I feel like it in fact proves that men and women can't JUST be friends. You hooked up with her, therefor you got the sexual attraction out of the way and NOW--after you hooked up and it didn't work--are you friends. Yeah, a lot of people can do that. That's not so special : P Also, you said anybody who can't handle your friendship gets kicked to the curb. I don't know many, in fact I would go as so far to say, I don't know ANY woman/man who would be okay with their significant other being "best friends" with a member of the opposite sex who they have hooked up with before. That--to me--is crazy. So when you do find soemone who is okay with it, hold on for dear life! again great post, and yo umake some valid arguments but I find the reasoning a bit flawed... I like the post–but I feel like it in fact proves that men and women can’t JUST be friends. You hooked up with her, therefor you got the sexual attraction out of the way and NOW–after you hooked up and it didn’t work–are you friends. Yeah, a lot of people can do that. That’s not so special : P

Also, you said anybody who can’t handle your friendship gets kicked to the curb. I don’t know many, in fact I would go as so far to say, I don’t know ANY woman/man who would be okay with their significant other being “best friends” with a member of the opposite sex who they have hooked up with before. That–to me–is crazy. So when you do find soemone who is okay with it, hold on for dear life!
again great post, and yo umake some valid arguments but I find the reasoning a bit flawed…

]]> By: Kurt http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/#comment-2945 Kurt Fri, 29 May 2009 16:54:38 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=743#comment-2945 Haha, for anyone who didn't figure it out, the aforementioned best friend also happens to be the one who posted the above comment... Haha, for anyone who didn’t figure it out, the aforementioned best friend also happens to be the one who posted the above comment…

]]> By: InAgreement http://ummnowwhat.com/2009/05/29/a-contribution-to-the-debate/#comment-2944 InAgreement Fri, 29 May 2009 15:12:38 +0000 http://ummnowwhat.com/?p=743#comment-2944 Quite the post, Kurt. It's crazy...I have and attractive best friend of the opposite sex. We also went to highschool together, lived in the same city for 2 years, and shared a room for a period of time. Unfortunately it's hard for most people to understand. Quite the post, Kurt. It’s crazy…I have and attractive best friend of the opposite sex. We also went to highschool together, lived in the same city for 2 years, and shared a room for a period of time. Unfortunately it’s hard for most people to understand.

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