Too Much Is Never Enough
Many of us live in a world of excess. We exploit ourselves for Sea World, our obesity rates are on the rise and our national debt is the worst its been since Truman.
Lately, I’ve been feeling unsettled. It isn’t because I’ve been stressed out, because I just got back from an amazing week on Kiawah Island (which explains my lack of posting for the past, er, two weeks) and I even have the sunburn to prove it.
It isn’t because I’m concerned about the economy - sure, stock prices are going down the tubes but the economy isn’t the reason I’m living paycheck to paycheck and running a never-ending race against my student loan and credit card bills.
Because I live in a world where bigger is better and more is not less, I tend to keep an eye over the fence. In all areas of life, I’m constantly taking on projects that feel overwhelming, but they’re only overwhelming because they don’t have my full concentration. I don’t bite off more than I can chew but sometimes, while I’m working on one project, be it personal or professional, I’m simultaneously planning my next bigger, better move.
On paper, my life is A-OK right now. I live close to my family and some of my closest friends, I am gainfully employed and through my blog I’ve rediscovered my passion for writing and realized that liking food doesn’t make you a pig, but it’s something to embrace and enjoy (Disclaimer: Unless you’re eating every meal at the 7-Eleven. Then I retract my previous statement). I mean, I wouldn’t complain if Jude Law appeared at my door to propose marriage but a girl can’t have it all.
Despite the fact that things are status quo right now, I can’t shake this feeling that I’m missing out on opportunities and that I could be reaching higher and further than I already am. Logically, I know that being in my mid-twenties, I still have plenty of time to reach my professional goals and to take trips, learn skills that will enrich my life, but emotionally, I’m having a hard time convincing myself to just stop and enjoy the now.
Does anyone else ever experience this feeling of “where-do-I-go-from-here?” How do you stop looking beyond the present and just be?
July 15th, 2009 at 2:14 am
If you figure this one out, please let me know. Having been working towards a professional goal for about a decade now, it sometimes feels like focusing on the future is the only constant!
July 15th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Man, I’ve felt that way for a couple of years……
July 15th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I’m having a very hard time with just “being” now that I’ve graduated college and have absolutely NO concrete job prospects at the moment.
Add to that, currently working at a job that I earnestly HATE WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING just so I’m not at home being a leech.
Focusing on the future is the only way to help cope with my current state of being or else I would have no hope.
July 15th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
I feel like you just read my mind. People keep telling me I’m still young, I have plenty of time, but I feel like I’m old enough that I should already have some level of success. I feel like I’m still just going with the flow. I have no assets, and while I have a steady job, it’s not the job I want to have for my whole life. I always feel like there is something better, and I wish I could make it happen for me NOW!
July 15th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I have more trouble with this than you can imagine. I can never just “be”. I know I am not doing what I want for a living, I know I don’t like where I live, etc. etc. and at 27, I know I still have plenty of time to change all of this but I really wish I could be one of these people who just stops and enjoys life to it’s fullest no matter what you know? Totally feel you on this one.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:24 am
Oh dear! Every day. Every DAMN day. Funny thing, though, is that by the time I’m done reminding myself to live in the moment, the moment is over.
July 19th, 2009 at 11:47 am
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July 21st, 2009 at 10:09 am
Aren’t the majority of mid-twenty somethings feeling this? Our quarter-life crisis that no one told us about in college. Aren’t we supposed to be more, have more, do more, give more? You definitely are not alone in this. I think every one of my friends feels this. No matter how professionally, educationally, or personally accomplished they are, they worry about what they don’t have. We all have to focus on what we got and be happy. The rest will follow…
July 27th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
I feel this way every single day… And I don’t know how to put it aside and just enjoy. I’ll get back to you if I figure it out. Let me know if you find something that works.
August 4th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
I consistently feel like I am in my quarter life crisis, and then I realize it isn’t my career but my social life that seems to be in flux. Who knows….as it changes by the day.
September 9th, 2009 at 6:11 am
I know exactly what you mean. I just got back from a trip to Las Vegas and it took all my strength to try to enjoy the fact that I had a long weekend off, with my best friend, in a fun place, and that maybe my “present” is not so bad after all, and this could quite possibly be “it” — this IS my life. When I list all the things I have going for me, I’m overwhelmed by how lucky I am compared to my other friends… yet, I feel like I have no direction, I have no idea what my passion is or what I want to do with my life, and I’m subtracting years from my life with worry that I will reach retirement age and look back and regret not taking bigger risks to try to make myself happier. Yes, I know what it’s like.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:29 am
I think everyone has this feeling of wanting to be more than they already are. I go in and out of it myself. At times it feels like my life is pathetic even though on paper I’m quite accomplished. I do think it is a normal feeling which most people have. A friend and I talked on the topic once and he remarked, “everyone hates themselves man, you’re not special.”
So to help me remember I am not special, I volunteer at the local food bank and try to play with the neighboor kids when ever I can. It seems to be my escape. They don’t know how big of a loser I really feel like at times.
January 12th, 2010 at 8:55 am
Good grief! Hard work is one thing and you are never guaranteed anything despite parents and other influences inflicted upon us! My advise, if you don`t like it? Don`t bother, leave it,. Ultimately we all want to be happy and to do so means that we have to take chances. This means, if you hate your job, leave, hate your home, go make a new one, only here once and whilst all the above have no kids and little responsiblility other than themselves, thye are at liberty to do whatever, whenever and with no-ones permission and without letting anyone else down, the right to happiness and well being, therefore, just make a goal and assess if it is a achievable. If it is not, leave it…..move on! Stop moaning and just DO IT!
January 22nd, 2010 at 6:45 pm
Here I am, sharing the same feeling, and almost 40!! (before you know it, you will be were I am, belive me it goes quick). I am very successful in my career, but in nothing else. Here’s the sad part, most of us know where we go wrong, but what I’m struggling to understand, why do we keep on doing it, even if we understand where we go wrong.
This is what I learned:
- We focus all our energy on what we think will buy us joy. This however, takes up so much of our energy and time that no reserves are left to enjoy what we have accomplished.
I can leave you with this thought:
Do the best you can in all things in your life, leave the things you don’t enjoy, especially your job - since you spend almost 45% of your entire “awake” life doing your job (awake 16 hrs a day, of which 8 hours at your job).
My eldest son is almost 10 and the younger one will be 6 this year. I have been so busy creating a comfortable environment for everyone, that I am the only one not in it.
Advice to you and me:
- Consider the reason why you are chasing whatever. Now, starting today, starting now; start living for the reason and not the means.
February 6th, 2010 at 2:18 am
even at age 52 I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, in the last 2 years I’ve lost my 30 yr marriage to my high school sweetheart, then both parents in the same month & my only refuge was a retail job where because of massive turnovers & bad economic times I have progressivly lousy managers younger than me & they are so clueless , I’m fighting tooth & nail to keep a crappy job that I used to love & was good at for health benifits & losing I’m being harassed & feel like I’m in high school it’s cliques all over again. I used to be happy now I’m misreable, but I’m better off than many persons & yet I don’t know what to do next. I am living in the present & see no future for myself, I have lost my ability to dream a future , so I ask the question . now what?
February 9th, 2010 at 7:39 pm
We find ourselves in such an interesting position. We get to decide what to do with our time. How many other living beings in the history of the universe can say this?
I have been to a lot of places in this world and seen a lot of things. I see myself as so much more fortunate than so many others, but if this is the case, why are they happier?
A lot is made of what to do with life. But really, what is there that needs to be done? Once a skyscraper is built next to the Hardee’s on 23rd street, will the world be complete? It is not as if we inherited this world with the task of building it into something better. Our job is simply to to what the rest of the creatures on this earth do, and that is to eat food and make copies of ourselves.
Yet so much is made about the career…It’s not about the job or the car or the clothes or the bank account. It is about happiness. But we cannot only be happy. We also need to be relied on. We need others to need us. I am envious of the Malays that live in the rain forest and have to watch out for one another so they don’t get eaten.
We are so fortunate…just look at what we are doing. We are sending digital code to space and back to each other at different parts of the world. But it seems we have abandoned the very things that make life worthwhile.
March 10th, 2010 at 7:45 am
John,
I agree with you 100% and wish more people shared this outlook. Thanks for sharing.