Honesty vs. courtesy
Tell me, dear readers, which of the two is worse?
A person who dislikes you for exceedingly petty reasons, yet is overly nice to your face?
Or a person who dislikes you for exceedingly petty reasons and acts cold as ice towards you?
(And, why yes, this is related to my last post, thanks for asking.)
July 21st, 2009 at 4:57 am
The first one is worse. I know someone like this and she makes me grind my teeth in rage. Why be nice if you don’t like someone? If you both know they don’t like you, what’s the point? It’s not courteous, it’s just fake.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:03 am
I feel like I should choose the latter now, but I know if it happens to me and whenever I’m put in the situation I’d be choosing the former any day. I’m probably weird like that. Rather be lied to than confronted.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:43 am
The first one is worse. Id rather have honesty!
July 21st, 2009 at 10:09 am
If I don’t like someone, I’m courteous and respectful to their face, but not overly nice. It’s a waste of energy to be nice to someone who probably doesn’t like you anyway… I’d rather have the honesty (second option) so I can invest in good times with people who like me.
July 21st, 2009 at 12:56 pm
The first is worse, I think. Don’t be fake. I have a very hard time being nice to someone when I truly dislike them (not that it happens often!!!) and even when I TRY to be nice, I think I still come off as cold as ice.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:54 pm
I think people need to be polite and considerate to everyone, even if you dislike someone. So, I think the second one is worse.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:02 pm
For me the first one is worse. I hate fake people more than almost anything. If someone doesn’t like me, I would rather know it. I would also rather them just stay the hell away from me rather than be mean to me though
July 21st, 2009 at 11:58 pm
For me, the second one is because if the person is faking it and I don’t know them well enough, then it is going to be pretty dang hard for me to tell.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:16 am
The first one. I don’t like fake people. I’d rather them not be nice to me.
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:55 pm
I think the first one is worse. Fake is much worse than showing they’re true feelings. I’d rather just have it out in the open
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
I always thought that this was a regional thing. The first one is very Californian/Southern and the second one is very New England/Tri-state. I’m a Californian by birth, but some aspects of my personality are pure New England, so I strongly prefer the latter.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:29 pm
A person who acts overly nice is the worst.
If you’re going to believe something, show it. Don’t hide behind a wall of lies.
July 26th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
If someone dislikes me, I’d rather they are cold (but hopefully at least respectful) towards me rather than acting overly nice and then trashing me behind my back.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
A little of both?
I know someone who has no obvious reason to dislike me as I have always been generous and thoughtful towards them. They go through phases of blatant rudeness to my face to being overly pleasant. I think it’s easier to handle her when she’s rude because I feel justified in my dislike that I hide under the surface. When she’s being fake and bubbly, it means that I have to continue being nice to someone who I know dislikes me, if that makes any sense. I have to be nice to her already out of obligation, but it’s like insult to injury because at the very surface my frustration no longer seems justified.
October 27th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Hey, what’s up with no new posts?
I don’t care what someone thinks about anyone else as long as they’re polite to their face.
A few times I’ve run across people I didn’t particularly care for at the first few meetings, but after a few more began to warm to them or they to me or perhaps they changed or maybe my perspective did. If I had acted cold toward them the subsequent relationship (what little I allow with anyone not involved in my life…time, kids, job usually determine this) would never have had opportunity.
On the other hand, if the are polite to my face and trashing me behind my back, I am assured through experience that the hearers are well aware of this person’s two-facedness and give their words little credability and them little respect.
By the bye; like your stuff, keeping writing.
May 21st, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Today there isn’t any reason to be hostile to someone you don’t like, you’d avoid the person and get on with your life whilst around them. Honesty might be a virtue some people respect, but I just don’t feel there is a need to confront people you dislike, especially for petty reasons.
I suppose at the end of the day the one which is worse, is the one you can’t live with. You can bottle up a lot of hatred for someone as time goes on, with no way to vent it you’re surely going to pop.
Human emotions seem to overpower the majority of the population vs rational thought.
October 11th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
The bible says that if you hate someone and say nice things about them/to them, you’re a liar, and if you say terrible things, you’re a slanderer; It’s best, I think, to try and work out your differences.
January 18th, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Personally, if i dont like someone, I will be polite.
I would be nice and courteous towards the person.
I would NOT talk behind his or her back.
I might mention that I didn’t like the person, but for practical motives.
My sense of honour would not permit me to be an asshole.
I would neither lie, nor offend.
June 17th, 2011 at 10:05 pm
For me, I respect people that I don’t like, and they respect me back. So… I think it’s either the second option or neither.
May 15th, 2012 at 4:18 am
Honestly the older I get the less. I care really. If u don’t like me I can usually tell off the bat, and youl learn to love me. Although I don’t like 2 faced people, say what u need to say cause I sure will! I also don’t like people who are fake nice or too nice with no real reason other than they are dick eaters! When it comes down to it kill me with the truth then get caught up in a lie!!
May 16th, 2012 at 8:24 pm
hmm…
Did anyone notice the word “petty”?
I find it very disturbing that someone would act cold as ice for petty reasons